Career Day

TEACHER: Today, class, we will be discussing careers. Let's start by seeing what we already know about some of the things you may grow up to be. Timmy, do you know what a physicist is?

TIMMY: I think so, ma'am.

TEACHER: All right, then. Let's see you use the word "physicist" in a sentence.

TIMMY: Er... My Aunt Mabel sat on a Coke bottle, and now she has a fizzy cyst on her --

TEACHER: Thank you, Timmy. Maybe we should start with something a tiny bit easier. Cindy, can you make up a sentence using the word "aldermen"?

CINDY: Sure! When my cousin Mary Ann turned eighteen, she had "aldermen" on the varsity --

TEACHER: Okey dokey! Let's see what else we have here -- [flipping through a stack of note cards] -- No. No. Ah! Here we go. Felix, do you understand the meaning of the word "butcher"?

FELIX [simpering]: Gee, ma'am, I would hope so.

TEACHER: And what sentence does it bring to your mind?

FELIX: My mother says Billy Joel is "butcher" than Elton John, but not as butch as Bruce Springsteen.

TEACHER: I'll show you a butcher, young man....