Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Red One

I saw this movie last weekend, and contrary to some nasty reviews I've glimpsed, I thought it was highly entertaining. It features Chris Evans as a ne'er-do-well named Jack who started his career – finding things that are supposed to be unfindable – at an early age, discovering proof that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Imagine his surprise when Lucy Liu and Dwayne Johnson bust him for inadvertently revealing the whereabouts of Santa's workshop to a client, who turns out to be an 18-foot-tall shapeshifting ogre known (to those wise enough not to say her real name out loud) as the Winter Witch. He and Johnson, an agent of ELF (don't ask), must now join forces to recover the kidnapped Saint Nick before the witch can use his powers to destroy Christmas. Like, with a vengeance that even Krampus wouldn't get behind.

The movie is directed by Jake Kasdan, also known for the last couple Jumanj flicks, Walk Hard: The Deewey Cox Story and Bad Teacher. Predictably, it's packed with fantasy special effects and action, including a hit squad of beefcake snowmen, a Krampusnacht party attended by all manner of strange creatures, a talking polar bear, a gadget that can turn toys into their living, life-sized counterparts and, you know, Father Christmas and his team of flying reindeer. Its cast also features J.K. Simmons as the jolly (but not roly poly) old elf, Bonnie Hunt as the Mrs. and Nick Kroll as a high-level crook.

Overall, I thought its take on mythological beings like Santa, Bigfoot and so on was fun, and the commentary on what sets Santa apart from Krampus made room for thoughts like "Christmas presents are a symbol of undeserved grace" whereas the witch represents the unforgiving aspect of pure law and order. I didn't find the special effects distractingly bad, as I sometimes do in fantasy blockbusters. My head stayed inside the movie throughout the fast-paced action scenes, right up to the boss fight at the end. Also, it made me laugh and, for a few moments, got me a bit choked up with the subplot involving Jack and his son.

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) Jack and Dylan find themselves in a tight spot, giving the father an opportunity to make amends with his son – and, in the process, busting the evil witch's plot wide open. (2) The snowman fight. I mean, come on. (3) The moment when Jack earns some respect from his ELF handler, when they actually start working together. Hint: It involves Krampus.

Believe the negative hype if you want to. I'm not (no pun intended) easily snowed by a lousy movie cashing in at the box office. I mean, I actually saw Justice League and recognized that it was terrible, and not because Zack Snyder lost control of it; I've had him pegged as a terrible filmmaker since Man of Steel. And I stood by my thesis that Morbius was an insult to my intelligence even when people I like and respect insisted it was terrific. When there's something wrong about the taste of the Kool-Aid, I spit. But I drank of this movie with gusto, and while it's a weird take on Christmas folklore and an entirely secular one at that, as pure entertainment I'd recommend giving it a chance.

Monday, November 11, 2024

2 Poignant Period Pics About Parents and Kids

This past weekend, on two different nights, at two different movie houses in two different cities, I went to two movies. Did I see the new Venom flick? Well, it's a sequel to a movie I didn't care to see, so what do you think? No. Did I see Smile 2? Well, it's a sequel to a movie I didn't care to see, so what do you think? No. I also could have seen Heretic, or Here, or I kid you not, Hitpig. Of these three, would you believe the one I was most interested in seeing was Hitpig? But I didn't see that, either. Instead, I saw The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and Lost on a Mountain in Maine. And I went away more than satisfied.

In the first instance, it was a touching, family-friendly laugh-fest based on a book that my fourth grade teacher read to the class. I mentioned this to the guy who sold me the ticket, and he said he read the book every year of his teaching career to his sixth grade class. Assuming our cases aren't just a freak coincidence, that might be a sign that there are a lot of people who have fond memories of this story from sometime in the last 40 years or so. And now, I hope, a lot of people will enjoy memories of this movie, with its touching message that the story of Jesus' birth is for everyone, including a certain family of rambunctious redheads from the wrong side of the tracks.

It's a rare Christmas movie that acknowledges that the birth of Jesus is what Christmas is about. It shows the life-changing power of the message of Jesus. It features a character explaining what the word "Emmanuel" means. It features the lowest and least coming, uninvited, to the party and making it the best party ever, because you see what the story of Luke 2 means in their tear-streaked faces. It featured characters admitting they were wrong and growing as people. It features a character looking straight into the camera and saying, "Unto you a child is born!" And it made me laugh. And it made me cry, a little.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is directed by Dallas Jenkins, the force behind The Chosen. The book on which it is based was by Barbara Robinson and is as old as I am, 1972. The cast is headlined by Judy Greer and comedian Pete Holmes, with Lauren Graham of The Gilmore Girls as the narrator and (at the end of the movie) grown-up version of the hero girl, and a bunch of kids who do very well in their roles despite being completely unknown until now. Maybe this movie will change that, for some of them.

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) Beth (the hero girl) takes the horrible Herdman kids to the school library, where they discover discovery – not to mention everything they wanted to know (almost) about the Christmas story. (2) Beth discovers that she wants Imogene Herdman to play the Virgin Mary after all, and bicycles across town to tell her so. (3) Yes, of course, the climactic moment when everybody realizes that the one with the Herdmans really is The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.

In the second instance, I took a chance on a movie that I had never heard of until I started looking at what was playing at the two-towns-over cineplex. I looked at a trailer for it and that was all I knew going in. Truly, I spent the drive there debating in my mind between this movie and Hitpig, which at least has a good title. I still think "Lost on a Mountain in Maine" is still rather on-the-nose. But belly to the box office bar, I bought a ticket to it and when I say both movies made me cry, please understand that I squeezed out a tear for the Christmas pageant but this one made me sob.

Produced by (among others) Sylvester Stallone, the movie is about a fighter – a 12-year-old fighter named Donn who becomes separated from his family during a hike up Maine's Mount Katahdin. It's a true story; it actually happened in 1939. But you might not know how it turned out, because it was that long ago, so whether the kid's going to be found alive as he remains lost for day after agonizing day remains in suspense until the very end. It's a brutal ordeal for everyone involved, and the cast – again, featuring some little-known actors – gets credit in my book for seeing their characters through hell, especially the hero boy, his parents and his twin brother. If their work gets noticed, maybe names like Caitlin FitzGerald, Paul Sparks and Luke David Blumm will be better known by this time next year or so.

Three Things That Made It For Me: (1) There are a couple of fourth-wall breaking moments where Donn and one of his parents both gaze into the lens and somehow seem to make eye contact despite being separated by miles. One one occasion, the dad becomes so convinced he hears his son calling to him that he runs out into the woods and gets injured. On another occasion, it's what the son hallucinates hearing his father tell him that finally decides his fate. (2) The scene in which Donn, resting on the forest floor, comforts himself in the embrace of the terrifying, Native American god his trail guide told him about at the campfire the night before he got lost. The secrets he confesses to the winged, antlered monster are deeply touching. (3) The mom's confession that when her husband called her with the news that he lost their boy – without saying which of their three sons was lost – she hoped it was Donn, because he had a will to survive. Or as one of his friends reminisced in some archival footage cut into the film, Donn was a livewire.

In some ways, he's the ideal type of character to endure a survival ordeal like this. But it's still terrible to see him go through it and, bringing the tension to a hum, even the latter-day archival footage doesn't reveal the ending before its time. Do you think you can endure it? You'd better, in honor of this movie's young hero.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Dragon Slayers' Academy (Books 1-8)

The New Kid at School
Revenge of the Dragon Lady
Class Trip to the Cave of Doom
A Wedding for Wiglaf
Knight for a Day
Sir Lancelot, Where Are You?
Wheel of Misfortune
Countdown to the Year 1000
by Kate McCullan
Recommended Ages: 9+

Somewhere, sometime – probably during a visit to Costco – I picked up a boxed set of eight books, plus a bookmark, of the first eight books in this series of silly kiddie chapter books, all with cover art by Stephen Gilpin and illustrations by Bill Basso.

Briefly, they depict a medieval boy named Wiglaf who escapes being picked on by his 12 big, dumb brothers and nelgected by his single-minded cabbage farmer folks, to attend (duh) Dragon Slayers' Academy. It's a run-down castle staffed by oddballs, run by a certain Mordred the Marvelous, who's only in it for the gold, and who send unprepared children out to rob dragons of their hoard. Quite by accident, Wiglaf becomes the first student in the school's history to actually slay a dragon, and then another one, despite having a horror of blood and never mustering the nerve to poke his sword into anything. On a lot of his adventures, he's accompanied by fellow students Angus (Mordred's eternally hungry nephew) and Eric (who only Wiglaf knows is actually a Princess Erica), more or less the Ron and Hermione to Wiglaf's Harry. And of course, what could go wrong without the "help" of a cracked wizard named Zelnoc, who is responsible for (among other things) teaching Wiglaf's pet pig, Daisy, to speak Pig Latin.

I believe you can guess where this is all going, so I won't belabor the synopsis other than to say that at least once in almost every book in this set, I laughed out loud. I believe the first time was when a minstrel, by way of inspiring Wiglaf to seek his fortune as a dragon slayer, told him that every dragon has a fatal weakness; like a certain dragaon who hated to be teased, and was thus slain by a knight who said, "Nonny noony poo poo, you old sissy" to it. If that just made whatever you're drinking shoot out of your nose, we may share an appreciation for these whimsical books, in which the problems of modern-day school kids are cosmetically touched up with Middle Ages trappings and the anachronisms (look that up) are perhaps the funniest part.

There are 20 books in the Dragon Slayers' Academy series. From book 9 onward, they include 97 Ways to Train a Dragon; Help! It's Parents' Day at DSA; Danger! Wizard at Work; The Ghost of Sir Herbert Dungeonstone; Beware! It's Friday the 13th; Pig Latin – Not Just for Pigs; Double Dragon Trouble; The World's Oldest Living Dragon; Hail, Hail, Camp Dragononka!; Never Trust a Troll; Little Giant, Big Trouble; and School's Out – Forever! Kate McCullan is also the author of a bunch of picture books, beginning readers' titles, 10 Myth-o-Mania books (titles include Say Cheese, Medusa!), and a few more children's books.

Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Saturday Night

This past Sunday night, I sat alone in a small movie theater and watched this movie, depicting the 90 chaotic minutes leading up to the first broadcast of Saturday Night Live. It's directed and co-written by Jason Reitman, the director of Juno, Up in the Air and Thank You for Smoking. His co-writer, Gil Kenan, also worked with him on Ghostbusters: Afterlife. Its cast features Gabriel LaBelle of The Fabelmans as SNL creator Lorne Michaels; Cory Michael Smith, whom I recall playing the Riddler in Gotham, as Chevy Chase; Dylan O'Brien of Teen Wolf fame as Dan Aykroyd; Ella Hunt of Anna and the Apocalypse as Gilda Radner; Rachel Sennott of TV's The Idol as Michaels' sometime wife and writer Rosie Shuster; Lamorne Morris of TV's Fargo as Garrett Morris; soap opera maven Kim Matula as Jane Curtin; Finn Wolfhard of Stranger Things as a page; Nicholas Braun of Succession in a dual role as Jim Henson and Andy Kaufman; Willem Dafoe as the NBC talent executive who held the power to make or break SNL up to the moment it went on air; Matthew Rhys of the Perry Mason reboot in a very unflattering portrayal of George Carlin; J.K. Simmons in an even more unflattering portrayal of Milton Berle; Robert Wuhl as the show's director; Catherine Curtin of Orange Is the New Black as a network censor; Paul Rust of I Love You, Beth Cooper as Paul Shaffer; Brad Garrett in a throw-away role as a bad night club comedian; and lots more people in roles that might make their careers.

It's a tour de force of the kind of suspense you can't really take seriously, if you take time to think about it, because we all know that SNL went on the air and has been on the air for almost 50 years. But the movie doesn't give you much time to think about it. It's a chaotic look behind the scenes at an everything-that-can-go-wrong-does moment, focusing mainly on Michaels as he (seemingly calmly) puts out one small fire after another without ever, until the crucial moment, appearing to be in control of the general conflagration. It puts the unknown 20-somethings who became instant stars on SNL into context, without sugar-coating the quirks that made them difficult to work with. It delivers spot-on impersonations of young Billy Crystal, Gilda Radner, Andy Kaufman and more. It sometimes made my flesh crawl (cue Uncle Milty). It frequently made me laugh. There's some hard drug use in it. There's some great music in it. And there are a lot of people in it whose heads you want to knock together, many of them on the crew side of the production. It doesn't break down into a three-act structure; it just flows and evolves, building up to a tense moment followed by just the first on-air sketch of SNL. Whatever it is, and however you feel about it, it just might be a perfectly executed piece of film.

Let's head straight into Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) The Dafoe character's unexpected pep talk to encourage Michaels, early in the movie. He doesn't mean it; by the end of the movie he's singing an entirely different tune. This was a big surprise but there was also an underlying layer of menace in it, lingering in the back of your mind when, later, another producer belts Michaels across the chops with the news that the network wanted SNL to fail. (2) Michaels' answer, when he finally spits it out, to the question of what his show is. (3) Andy Kaufman's Mighty Mouse gag. Always wonderful to see, and his impersonator in this movie nails the character, dead center.

Monday, November 4, 2024

Robbie's 8-, 9- and 10-Cube Tutorial

My collection has grown a bit since I last showed it off. In addition to 3-D puzzles of different shapes, or that turn along different axes, I've also sized up to the 8x8x8, 9x9x9 and 10x10x10 cube – leaving only the 11x11x11 before I reach the limit of mass-produced Rubik's Cube-type puzzles that are sanctioned for official competition, and for which scrambles are provided by the online puzzle scrambler that I consult. I'm not so much concerned about the official competition bit; as I've said many times, I'm no speed cuber. But I do like the help of a scrambler to set up a random state of each puzzle for me to solve.

This isn't going to be as much of a tutorial as the previous ones in this series, for the 2- through 7-cubes. There are no new parity errors to work your way through; just lots of cases of edge, OLL and PLL parity, for which the solutions are the same algorithms as ever, only applied to deeper and/or wider slices of the cube. The last time I solved the 10-cube, for example, I had one case each of edge parity that affected single, double and triple layers. If you've gotten down those parity algorithms and have the flexibility to apply them in a variety of situations, and if you've fully absorbed the strategy for solving last two centers and last two edges on any cube sized 5x5x5 and up, and if you know your method for solving a 3x3x3 cube, you're golden.

I'll just use this space to alert you to the very few, relatively minor ways in which solving an 8-cube and up is harder than 7-cube on down. First and foremost, moving the layers is more difficult. They're tiny. They catch on each other and lock up, unless they're perfectly aligned. A few minutes ago (while setting up for the photo above, in fact), I dropped my 10 cube and for a hot minute, I wasn't sure it was ever going to work again, there were so many pieces pushed out of alignment and locked up amongst each other. Then I pushed something just the right way and everything snapped back into place again, thank God.

Second, scrambling the cube takes a lot more steps, and if you're striving toward competition, that exposes you to a lot more chances of missing a step, or losing your place in the scramble, and not arriving at the state depicted at the end of the scramble ... which would be bad, in the context of competition, but doesn't really matter if you're just puzzling for fun. Still, it's a longer-lasting chore and any lapse of concentration can lead to that frustrating moment where you find yourself asking, "Where was I in this list of steps?"

Third, while solving the centers and edges is the same job as ever (from 4- or 5-cube on up), it's a helluva lot more work, so you'd better enjoy the process before you invest in the cube. The puzzle isn't any harder, and it's actually kind of relaxing if you ask me, when you know exactly what it's going to take to solve each side and each edge. But it will take longer, for sure. And when you add this on top of issue no. 1 – I blush to admit how many times I found myself swearing at these larger cubes, when they wouldn't let me make the turns I wanted – let's just say, enjoyment of a toy like this will be proportional to the Sitzfleisch you possess. Which is to say, this is a pursuit best enjoyed by highly focused, task-orient(at)ed people; not, I should think, for the amusement of someone with ADHD.

The 8x8x8 version of Rubik's Cube is shown above in its solved state in the front row of toys ahead of the smaller-scale cubes. Known as V-Cube 8, its invention is credited to Panagiotis Verdes in 2007, but it's made by a number of different manufacturers and I guess there might be smoother-moving versions than the budget cube I bought. Verdes Innovations makes the V-Cube 8 with rounded sides; Chinese-made versions have flat sides, like the copy I own. Like the 4-, 6- and 10-cube, it has no fixed centers, so it's on you, as the puzzle solver, to assemble the 6x6 centers in the correct order. There are 296 pieces, including 216 single-color center pieces, 72 two-color edge pieces and the usual eight three-color corner cubies. The number of possible permutations of these pieces has been calculated at 3.52x10^217. You understand that that's a 218-digit number, right? Nevertheless, the unofficial speed record for solving the 8-cube, at this writing, is alleged to be 3 minutes, 19.87 seconds.

The 9x9x9 or V-Cube 9, like the 3-, 5- and 7-cubes, does have a fixed center on each side, plus 288 center pieces that can move anywhere and that you have to assemble into 7-by-7 centers; 84 edge pieces and, of course, eight corners. There are about 1.42x10^277 possible ways to scramble it. I'm told it's been solved in as little as 6 minutes 58.33 seconds.

About the 10x10x10 or V-Cube 10, I can't tell you much. Despite the center pieces getting smaller in cubes 8 and up, the overall sizes of the cubes have also grown to the point where this massive toy is actually tricky to hold in the hands, and at times you have to think about how you're going to make the next move. I don't have any data about record solves or possible permutations, I'm afraid. But the latter statistic is already way beyond the number of particles in the observable universe, going back a few cubes, so there's little doubt that that number, for the 10-cube, is just stupidly big, on a scale that has no meaning to the human mind. And probably, there's somebody in China or Korea who knows how to solve a well-scrambled 10 in, like, 10 minutes or less. Believe it or not, I've solved it (and the 9-cube as well), as recently as yesterday. But I've reached the point where "scrambling all my cubes and solving them" is no longer something I can do within the duration of a Hallmark Channel movie.

The 9- and 10-cubes are unsolved in the picture above. It so happens that I scrambled all nine cubes, from 2x2x2 up, last night and solved 2 through 7 while watching YouTube videos before bedtime. I had solved the 8-cube's centers too, leaving the rest of the puzzle for me to finish over lunchtime today. I'm saving the 9- and 10-cubes for tonight after work. I just haven't had the time yet and I didn't feature spending the time solving them to shoot pictures of a process I've shown in my previous tutorials, give or take an extra few pieces per row of center facets or edge pieces. Like I said, same puzzle, same solution, only bigger and requiring more time and work; not actually any harder, except in the three ways noted above.

What is the effect of all this leveling-up? I can only speak for myself. I'm still engaged in the puzzles. I'm a little frustrated with the amount of effort it takes – not the steps of solving the puzzle as such, but struggling with layers that catch on each other and lock up. I might have been happier if I had invested in a "speed cuber" grade product instead of the cheapo cubes I got. But the fun of puzzling is still there, and with each center solved, each edge, each parity case sorted, each step taken toward the final solution, that endorphin payoff keeps me hooked. I was talking, a few installments back, about the "comfort cube" needle on my dashboard edging from the 4-cube to the 5-cube. Honestly, today, I'd say my "comfort cube" is somewhere between the 6 and the 7 – in that sweet spot between not too easy and not too hard – and I think that needle will continue to move, despite these minor annoyances.

Thursday, October 31, 2024

The Wild Robot

I have a copy of the book by Peter Brown on which this DreamWorks animated feature is based, and I'm sorry to say, I haven't read it yet. But I went to see the movie anyway, about a week ago, and I love it. It's really just another example of the excellent, creative work Dreamworks Animation can do. A movie that shows you things you didn't expect to see, but better and more memorable and emotionally gripping things, The Wild Robot tells the story of a household servant robot that wakes up after a shipwreck on the shore of a wild, wooded island populated only by various animals. Known by a string of characters that she eventually shortens to Roz, the robot gets off to a rough start, offering to accomplish tasks for the wild creatures but only scaring them away, or ticking them off, or getting picked on, etc. She eventually learns how to communicate with them, just in time to rescue a newly-hatched gosling from the total destrcution of its hest. The runt of a gosling, later known as Brightbill, imprints on Roz, meaning she's the first thing he sees and therefore becomes his mummy. So, with the reluctant aid of a fox named Fink, Roz takes on the task of preparing Brightbill for the geese's fall migration.

It's a found-family story on steroids. By degrees, the whole island – including predators and prey – becomes one big family, united first against a once-in-a-century harsh winter and then against the return of the robots to collect Roz. I don't want to spoil any more of the story except to hint that it has glorious art, terrific animation, silliness, tenderness, thrilling action, and an overall story arc that moved me deeply. Though, at the same time, I was skeptical about how a truce between meat eaters and, um, meat would work, I saw so much beauty in this story that I got a bit teary-eyed.

The voice-acting cast has some notable names in it. Playing Roz is Lupita Nyong'o, who won an Oscar for her supporting role in 12 Years a Slave. Fink is voiced by Pedro Pascal, known for his roles in Game of Thrones, The Mandalorian, The Last of Us and Wonder Woman 1984. Kit Connor, as Brightbill, stars in the TV series based on the Heartstopper books. Catherine O'Hara, Bill Nighy, Stephanie Hsu, Mark Hamill and Ving Rhames also contributed their voice talents. You'll know them when you hear them.

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) The momma opossum (O'Hara) tells Roz the unvarnished truth about motherhood in a speech hilariously short on sugar coating, during which she mentions having seven (horrible scream), I mean six kids. The possum family is hysterical all around, though it's funny how the baby possums are still babies after enough time has passed for Brightbill to grow up. (2) Caught in a storm, the goose migration seeks shelter in a gigantic, robot-managed greenhouse. Oops. The sacrifice it will take to get out of there will pierce you to the heart. (3) The animals fight back against a robot apocalypse – and I really have to include in this sequence the bit where Brightbill rescues Roz even after it seems she must be gone forever. Gripping, heart-touching, beautiful stuff.

The Fairy Swarm

The Fairy Swarm
by Suzanne Selfors
Recommended Ages: 10+

In this sixth and last book of the Imaginary Veterinary series, Ben and Pearl's adventures as apprentices to Dr. Emerald Woo come to a thrilling and satisfying, if regrettable, conclusion. I mean, who really wanted this series to end?

The tiny, economically depressed town of Buttonville is visited with a swarm of what the locals believe to be killer bees. But actually, they're sugar-crazed fairies on the loose from Dr. Woo's hospital. Meanwhile, the doc's nemesis, imaginary creature poacher Maximus Steele, is on his way, and it's time for the hospital to move again before local busybodies find out exactly what's going on. Also, someone called an exterminator. With all these signs of impending disaster, a lot rides on the creativity of tall tale teller Ben, the mischief-making expertise of Pearl and some plain sasquatch sense. But the only solution may mean an end to the two kids' all-too-brief summer of magical adventures.

Ben and Pearl are fun young heroes to follow. Their hijinks are hilarious. Their widely different personalities play off each other wonderfully. They both grow and overcome personal limits. And both of them, especially Ben, are bravely battling personal issues that will go right to the reader's heart. Their adventures with Dr. Woo and her anthropomorphic feline friend Mr. Tabby are loaded with magic, danger, puzzles and challenges. There is a healing aspect to these books, and a gentleness that I hope will rub off on many young readers – with catchy ethical concepts such as "every creature deserves veterinary care." And as always, the after-parts of the book about in teaching material that goes down easily, with creative writing prompts, what-would-you-do scenarios, and hints at where you can find the book's imaginary creatures elsewhere. I'm not just recommending these books. I'm giving them to my niece, and I hope she enjoys them at least us much as I did.