What's in Te Laudamus?—Part 1

Yesterday my two copies of Te Laudamus arrived. It's the new hymnal of the small, conservative Lutheran entity known as the Protes'tant Conference, with stress on the second syllable (I'm serious; and they actually spell it with that apostrophe). I think the Protes'tant Conference is an off-shoot of the Wisconsin Ev. Lutheran Synod. It's based in Valders, Wisconsin. Here's its Wikipedia page if you want to know more. The web address, both as listed in the book and linked to the wiki, currently leads to a "page not found" message. For what it's worth. The book is beautifully made, with a Latin title meaning "We praise Thee" referencing the ancient creedal hymn Te Deum laudamus, embossed in gold between the wings of the Cherubim on a cloth-bound hardback in a vibrant shade of red. And its contributors include a bunch of people I more or less know and deeply respect, including Rev. Dr. Daniel Reuning (whom I had as a seminary prof), Rev. Michael Frese (who was a fellow student of mine at the same sem), Matthew Carver (a collaborator on other hymn-related projects), Rev. Jesse Krusemark, Rev. Dr. Michael Albrecht and others. Congratulations and kudos to them for launching such a fine book. You can buy it here, if you're interested.

Following some prefaces, including a dedicatory poem by Martin Luther translated by Robin Leaver, and a lovely color illustration of a stained glass window depicting King David, the book proceeds directly to the Psalter with all 150 Psalms pointed for singing to the nine Gregorian tones. There's a whole page of instructions that I think will be important to read and discuss in preparation for using these tones. I'm already impressed with the eds.' commitment, measured in sheer real estate, to making the church's foundational hymn-book fully available for use in public worship and private devotions, with stress on its intended purpose—to be sung.

The pages of the Psalter aren't numbered. Then another illustration depicting Luther's seal and the initials VDMA (Verbum Domini manet in aeternum, "The Word of the Lord endures forever"), with a brief explanation beneath it, introduces the next major division of the book: hymns. This kicks off with a table of contents to aid users in locating hymns by season of the church year or topic. They're numbered from 151 (i.e., continuing from the numbering of the Psalter) through 322. So, it's not a huge collection of hymns. What you will notice, and I think closer attention to those prefaces will support this, is an apparently deliberate decision by the editors to restrict their selection almost entirely to hymns from either pre-Reformation or specifically Lutheran hymn writers, with a lot of space devoted to Luther himself, Paul Gerhardt and (in later sections) Martin Franzmann.

The Advent section, 151-158, opens with a picture by Giotto of Christ's entry into Jerusalem and a prayer by Veit Dietrich, a protégé of Luther. The hymns (and, pardon me, I'm going to list all of them) are:

• "Savior of the Nations, come" by Ambrose, by way of Luther's German, mostly translated by Richard Massie and set to the 16th century German chorale customarily paired with it, NUN KOMM DER HEIDEN HEILAND.
• Come, Thou Redeemer of the Earth," which seems to be John Mason Neale's translation of the same hymn directly from Ambrose's Latin, set to the related plainsong VENI REDEMPTOR GENTIUM.
• "The new church year again is come" by J.G. Olearius, set to Nikolaus Herman's tune ERSCHIENEN IST ("We sing, Immanuel, Thy praise", etc.)
• "Jesus, Thy Church with longing eyes" by William H. Bathurst—a 19th-century Anglican minister, and so already an exception to the rule of appropriating hymns strictly from the Lutheran tradition—set to the chorale O JESU CHRISTE, WAHRES LICHT ("O Christ, our true and only Light").
• "O Lord, how shall I meet Thee" by Gerhardt, set to Melchior Teschner's tune VALET WILL ICH DIR GEBEN ("All glory, laud and honor"). An end-note explains that the tune was chosen to coincide with "All glory, laud" because of the link between the Advent I gospel reading and Palm Sunday, when the latter hymn is sung. The page ends with a collect for pardon. (A collect is a formally written prayer, if you don't know.)
• "The Bridegroom soon will call us" by Johann Walter, translated by Matthias Loy, and set to the chorale HERZLICH TUT MICH ERFREUEN – with Reuning's setting exhibiting the use of square brackets to draw singers' attention to rhythmic groupings in this somewhat tricky tune. The page ends with a collect for grace to use our gifts.
• "O come, O come, Emmanuel," in Neale's translation from the Latin, numbered as "157a" and set to the French chant tune VENI EMMANUEL. 157b is the Great "O" Antiphons of the Advent season, pointed for chanting to one of the Gregorian tones, with a collect for an answer to prayer at the end.
• "Hark, a thrilling voice is sounding," in Edward Caswall's translation from Latin, set to FREUEN WIR UNS ALL IN EIN which Lutheran Worship and Lutheran Book of Worship also paired with this hymn. The section ends with an Albrecht Dürer woodcut of the annunciation (i.e. the angel telling the Virgin Mary that she's going to give birth to our Savior).

Christmas hymns, 159-180, break down further between the birth of Jesus (159-171), Holy Innocents (172-174), the Circumcision and Name of Jesus (175-177), and the New Year (178-180). The section begins with another color painting, showing Jesus' nativity, plus another collect by Veit Dietrich. The hymns are:

• "From heaven high I come to earth" by Luther, one of my very favorite hymns, with the music repeated on both sides of a two-page spread (albeit in two different arrangements) and performance directions designating stanzas 1-5 for "angel," 6-14 for children and 15 (which, strangely, is at the bottom of the first page) for "all."
• "Come, your hearts and voices raising" by Gerhardt, set to its proper tune, QUEM PASTORES.
• "To shepherds as they watched by night" by Luther, in Massie's translation, set to the chorale ICH KOMM AUS FREMDEN LANDEN HER (so also in the Ev. Lutheran Hymnary).
• "Behold! behold! what wonder's here!" by Gerhardt, in John Kelly's translation, set to Orlando Gibbons' tune SONG 34 ("Forth in Thy name, O Lord, I go," etc.) A woodcut of the naming of John fills up the surplus space at the end of the second page.
• "In Bethlehem God's Son is born," from Latin, set to Michael Praetorius' tune PUER NOBIS ("On Jordan's bank the Baptist's cry"), which really should be tune to "To shepherds as they watched" while Praetorius' own tune, PUER NATUS IN BETHLEHEM, is identified with this hymn. Well, you can't nail them all.
• "O Jesus Christ, all praise to Thee" by Luther, set to Praetorius' tune GELOBET SEIST DU.
• "We Christians may rejoice today" by Caspar Füger, set to the chorale WIR CHRISTENLEUT, with those assisting brackets to point up the rhythmic groupings. A woodcut of Mary's visitation to Elizabeth fills the bottom of the second page.
• "Of the Father's love begotten," translated from Prudentius, set to the plainsong DIVINUM MYSTERIUM. A collect for grace to love and serve God fills up the bottom of the second page.
• "We sing, Immanuel, Thy praise" by Gerhardt, with (as mentioned) ERSCHIENEN IST. There's a woodcut of the birth of Jesus at the end.
• "O Jesus Christ, Thy manger is" by Gerhardt, set to Johann Crüger's achingly lovely tune O JESU CHRIST, DEIN KRIPPLEIN whose replacement by a freshly composed tune in Lutheran Service Book (LSB) has annoyed me for, lo, 20 years now. A woodcut at the end depicts the presentation of Jesus and purification of Mary.
• "Now praise we Christ, the Holy One" by Luther, divided into an "a" and a "b" on facing pages with stanzas 1-2, 4-5 and 7-8 on the left, set to the chorale CHRISTUM WIR SOLLEN LOBEN SCHON, and stanzas 3 and 6 at the right set to the closely related plainsong A SOLIS ORTUS CARDINE. An endnote suggests either dividing the hymn between the two settings in alternation between congregation, choir, cantor or children or having the congregation sing it to the chorale throughout. I'm going to spare myself a lot of tedious repetition by just calling this a "celebration," to borrow terminology from Lutheran Worship.
• "O Christ, the Father's only Son," translated from Latin by Neale. The music is another celebration, with odd-numbered stanzas set to PUER NOBIS on the left, "a" side of the spread and even-numbered ones to the plainsong CHRISTE REDEMPTOR OMNIUM on the right, "b" side.
• "On this day earth shall ring," in Jane Joseph's translation from Latin, set to its proper tune, PERSONET HODIE in one of Reuning's many settings in the book. It's much easier to play than the Gustav Holst setting I've previously encountered. A helpful footnote even explains the refrain, which remains in its original Latin.
• Following a painting of the massacre of Innocents and a historic collect, the Holy Innocents section starts with "This little babe so few days old" by Robert Southwell, an English Jesuit priest(!), set to Melchior Vulpius' tune DAS NEUGEBORNE KINDELEIN which some know as the tune to "Victim Divine, thy grace we claim" or maybe "Jesus, Thy boundless love to me." I think the tune suits this hymn to the ground. Perhaops you've heard this text set for boys' choir and harp in Benjamin Britten's A Ceremony of Carols, a spectacular piece.
• "O hail this brightest day of days," from an anonymous German author in 1524 Wittenberg, with Praetorius' setting of the chorale DER TAG DER IST SO FREUDENREICH, suggesting this is an alternative translation of the hymn I know as "Now hail the day so rich in cheer."
• "Sweet flowerets of the martyr band" by Prudentius, set to Daniel Vetter's tune DAS WALT GOTT VATER, also paired with it in The Lutheran Hymnal (TLH) and Lutheran Worship (LW).
• The Circumcision and Name of Jesus section begins with another color painting and a collect by Veit Dietrich. "O Jesus, for whose truth" is an 11-stanza hymn by Johann Heermann, in Carver's translation set to the chorale O GOTT, DU FROMMER GOTT (Meiningen) and followed by a collect for unwavering faith.
• "Why should they such torment give thee" by Gerhardt, translated by Kelly, is set to the rhythmic version of the Geneva tune FREU DICH SEHR ("Comfort, comfort ye my people"), with more of those helpful rhythmic brackets.
• "O blessed day when first was poured" is by Sebastien Besnault, a Cluniac monk (so, another exception to the rule posited above), translated by John Chandler and set to John B. Dykes' tune ST. CROSS ("'Twas on that dark, that doleful night," etc.).
• The New Year section begins, all unheralded, with "The new-born child this early morn" by Cyriakus Schneegass, translated by Emanuel Cronenwett and set to DAS NEUGEBORNE KINDELEIN.
• "Now let us come before Him" by Gerhardt, with stanzas translated by Carver supplementing Kelly's translation, set to Crüger's NUN LASST UNS GOTT, one of his less inspired tunes in my opinion, albeit quite rhythmic. The page at the bottom of the 14-stanza hymn ends with a collect for an answer to prayer.
• "The old year now hath passed away" by Johann Steuerlein is translated by Catherine Winkworth (not her first appearance in this book, though I forgot to mention her) and set to its own tune, Vulpius' DAS ALTE JAHR VERGANGEN IST.

Epiphany hymns, 181-189, are introduced by another color painting and a Dietrich collect.

• "How lovely shines the morning star," the Queen of Chorales, is by Philipp Nicolai, includng the tune WIE SCHÖN LEUCHTET.
• "The star proclaims the Kinig is here" by Sedulius, in Neale's translation, is set to its own plainsong tune, HOSTIS HERODES IMPIE. This would have to be introduced with care to get a congregation of average singing ability over the hump of, well, singing plainsong. There's enough space at the end of the hymn for two additional collects.
• "Why, Herod, unrelenting foe" by Luther, by way of Massie, is a paraphrase of Sedulius' hymn, here set to a chorale identified as VOM HIMMEL KAM DER ENGEL SCHAR, which strikes me as essentially the same tune as CHRISTUM WIR SOLLEN LOBEN SCHON.
• A woodcut introduces the Baptism of Christ section, along with an excerpt from Luther's Small Catechism. "To Jordan came our Lord, the Christ" by Luther, in Massie's translation, is set to its own chorale, CHRIST, UNSER HERR, with an explanatory note regarding an F-sharp in parentheses that can be sung as a natural if that's what you're used to.
• "O Jesus, King of Glory" by Martin Behm, translated by Winkworth, is set to VALET WILL ICH and followed by two more collects.
• "The will of God is always best," also followed by a collect, is by Albrecht von Preussen (elsewhere credited as von Brandenburg) and set to its own tune, WAS MEIN GOTT WILL by Claudin de Sermisy.
• "Seek where ye may to find a way" by Georg Weissel is set to the more rhythmically interesting of two versions of Johann Stobäus' tune SUCH, WER DA WILL that I know of. It's also followed by a space-filling collect.
• "Lord Christ, the Sole-Begotten" by Elizabeth Cruciger, in Carver's translation, is a hymn I know as "The only Son from heaven." It's set to its proper tune, the chorale HERR CHRIST, DER EINIG GOTTS SOHN, and followed by two collects.
• "May God bestow on us His grace" is Luther's missions hymn and paraphrase of Psalm 67, translated by Massie and set to its own chorale, ES WOLLE GOTT. The Epiphany section ends with an illustration representing the six chief parts of Luther's Small Catechism.

Lent hymns, 190-215, include Ash Wednesday (190-191), Christian warfare (192-193), confession/repentance (194-201), and Passiontide, further subdivided into Judica (Lent V) passion harmony paraphrases (202-203), Holy Week: Palmarum (Lent VI) (204), Maundy Thursday/communion (205-208), Good Friday (209-213), and Holy Saturday (214-215). The section starts with a color painting of the return of the prodigal son and another Dietrich collect.

• "From depths of woe I cry to Thee" is Luther's penitential paraphrase of Psalm 130, translated by Winkworth and set to Luther's own tune, AUS TIEFER NOT, with the famous interval of a descending fifth tone-painting the word "depths" and making alternate translations, such as "Out of the depths," offensively stupid. It is also followed by a space-filling collect.
• "By Adam's fall is all forlorn" by Lazarus Spengler is set to the Reformation-era chorale DURCH ADAMS FALL. Its nine stanzas sprawl onto a third page, with the melody repeated to spare users the inconvenience of having to flip back and forth to recall how it goes.
• The transition from Ash Wednesday to Christian warfare is marked by a woodcut of Adam and Eve and another excerpt from the catechism, Luther's explanation of the sixth petition, "Lead us not into temptation." "O Lord, our Father, shall we be confounded" by Heermann opens the section, in Winkworth's translation and set to the striking Rouen tune ISTE CONFESSOR (not to be confused with the Angers tune by the same name). Again, two collects follow.
• "Lord of our life and God of our salvation," another one of my most favoritest hymns, is by Matthäus Apelles von Löwenstern and is here set to the same tune as in TLH. What I particularly like about its appearance here is that unlike LSB, TL leaves all five stanzas intact and doesn't cut the heart out of the last two stanzas to cram them into one; which wasn't a space consideration at all, to judge by LSB's page layout. Just a bad decision, rectified here. Also, two more collects fill space at the end.
• "In Thee alone, O Christ, my Lord" by Konrad Hubert, his best-known work, with stanzas translated by Arthur Tozer Russell (whom I've also neglected to mention previously) and Winkworth. The tune is its own chorale, ALLEIN ZU DIR.
• "Lord, hear the voice of my complaint" by Paul Speratus, translated by Winkworth, is a very significant hymn in historic Lutheranism that has been left out of my synod's hymnals time after time, along with its beautiful chorale, ICH RUF ZU DIR.
• "Alas, my God! My sins are great" by Martin Rutilius, translation Winkworth, is set to its own chorale, ACH GOTT UND HERR.
• "Lord Jesus, we give thanks to Thee" by Christoph Fischer, a.k.a. Vischer, translated by August Crull, is set to Nikolaus Herman's impressive tune WIR DANKEN DIR.
• "How can I seek, O highest Light" by Gerhardt, translation Carver, is a new one to me. It's paired with the chorale KOMMT HER ZU MIR ("O little flock, fear not the foe"). A bonus collect follows.
• "When o'er my sins I sorrow" by Justus Gesenius, translation (mostly) Winkworth, is set to the chorale WENN MEINE SÜND by Praetorius. Luther's prayer before receiving the Sacrament fills the bottom of the second page, while the last four stanzas overflow onto a third page with the tune only and, of course, rhythmic-grouping brackets. A helpful footnote explains the word "guerdon."
• Hymn 200 is "Turn, Lord, Thine anger," translated from Latin by Carl Døving and set to a Crüger tune here called HERR, DEINEN ZORN, which I know as LOBET DEN HERREN, ALLE, about which see here.
• "O faithful God, thanks be to Thee" is by Nikolaus Selnecker, one of the formularies of Concord, and is set to Louis Bourgeois' tune WENN WIR IN HÖCHSTEN NÖTEN ("When in the hour of utmost need," etc.).
• Passiontide begins with a woodcut of the crucifixion and another Dietrich collect, then "O mortal, mourn thy grievous sin" by Sebald Heyden, translation Carver, which I have heretofore known as "O sinner, come thy sin to mourn," another historically important Lutheran hymn that never makes it into Missouri Synod hymnals. It's set to a Praetorius arrangement of its own tune by Matthias Greitter called O MENSCH, BEWEIN, though this book puts that title second after ES SIND DOCH SELIG ALLE, DIE. Its six long stanzas sprawl onto four pages, three stanzas to each two-page spread. But this is only a cento (abridged version) of the full, 23-stanza metrical harmony of the Passions which starts over in the next hymn and continues (divided into parts) for eight more pages, set to a J.S. Bach arrangement of the tune.
• "The royal banners forward go" by Fortunatus, translation Neale, is a two-page celebration with Johannes Eccard's tune HERR JESU CHRIST, WAHR MENSCH UND GOTT on the left and the plainsong VEXILLA REGIS on the right. You know what I mean, right?
• "Jesus Christ, our blessed Savior," Jan Hus' Maundy Thursday/communion hymn by way of Luther and Massie, gets a two-chorale celebration as in LW, with both melodies titled JESUS CHRISTUS, UNSER HEILAND – the Wittenberg one on the left, the Erfurt one on the right. I've missed this celebration since LSB plumped for the Wittenberg tune, full stop.
• "Soul, adorn thyself with gladness" by Johann Franck, translation Winkworth, is set to its own chorale, Crüger's SCHMÜCKE DICH.
• "O Lord, we praise Thee" is Luther's communion hymn, or rather stanzas 2-3 are his, added onto an existing one-stanza hymn and set to its own chorale, GOTT SEI GELOBET. A footnote explains the option of singing either "Kyrie eleison" or "O Lord have mercy." Another prayer by Luther for before receiving the Sacrament follows.
• "Lord Jesus, my heart's Pleasure" by Gerhardt, translation Carver, is set to the long chorale NUN LOB, MEIN SEEL, causing stanzas 5-8 to spill onto a third page (unusually, without melody). Luther's prayer after receiving the sacrament follows, and another like it decorates the next page under a woodcut of the Last Supper.
• Good Friday hymns begin with "O sacred Head, now wounded" by Bernard of Clairvaux, by way of Gerhardt, set to Hans Leo Hassler's tune HERZLICH TUT MICH VERLANGEN (not to be confused with ditto-ditto-ditto ERFREUEN, above).
• "Upon the cross extended" is a huge hymn by Gerhardt, 16 stanzas translated by Kelly and set to Heinrich Friese's tune O WELT, SIEH HIER, proper to this hymn.
• "Our blessed Savior seven times spoke" by Johannes Böschenstain, translated by Frances Cox, is set to its own chorale, DA JESUS AN DES KREUZES, which TL helpfully repeats (melody only) on the second side of the two-page spread.
• "Faithful cross above all other," the explanation on the page goes, is the refrain (set to chant notation) to the Good Friday Reproaches and may be sung with the next hymn.
• "Sing, my tongue, the glorious battle" by Fortunatus, translation Neale, is a four-page celebration whose 10 stanzas may be sung to either or both of Carl Schalk's tune FORTUNATUS NEW or the Latin plainsong PANGE LINGUA.
• Holy Saturday arrives unannounced with "So rest, my Rest" by Salomo Franck, translation Massie, set to the chorale O TRAURIGKEIT ("O darkest woe").
• "Lord Jesus, who, our souls to save" by Georg Werner, translation Winkworth, is set to the chorale ERHALT UNS, HERR ("Lord, keep us steadfast").
• "The Lamb's high banquest we await," translated from Latin by Neale, is set to the "Agincourt Hymn" DEO GRACIAS ("O wondrous type"), sectioned "Easter Eve." As in, Easter vigil.

Time does not permit me to continue this exhaustive survey today, so we'll resume with the Easter hymns and all that follows in Part 2. But in case you feel unsatisfied without any critique or judgment about this book so far, let me drop a hint. When I announced on Facebook that I'd received this book, a friend (who also got their copy yesterday) asked, "Any suggestions for using it?" And my smart-aleck answer was: "Plant a whole new congregation around it. If you can find people who value, or at least are willing to put up with, actual Lutheran hymnody and worship practices."

Spider-Man: Brand New Day

A week ago, I went to see the latest Spidey movie, starring Tom Holland as your friendly neighborhood web-slinger, and let's see ... as of yesterday, it has grossed over $2 billion worldwide and is the highest-grossing film so far this year, the eighth-highest ever. It almost cracked $1 billion in its opening weekend, a second-best opener ever and the second-fastest to reach $1B, which it did in six days. And it's also the second-fastest film to crack $2B (19 days). So far, the reading from Wikipedia.

All that said, I doubt my synopsis will influence too many people sitting on the fence about seeing it, or spoil the plot for someone who still hasn't made it to the theater. I won't belabor it, other than to note a few pros and cons of the film. On the plus side, Spidey's lonely journey since making everybody who knew his secret identity forget him (including his best friend and the love of his life), plus his ongoing grief over losing Aunt May in the previous installment, give this film an intriguingly mature texture, and your heart aches for him a bit. The buddy rivalry between Spidey and the Punisher has a certain spicy charm. The action is well choreographed and shot, unmuddied by the bad CGI and flat color scheme that have detracted from so many recent superhero flicks. And though the plot does eventually come down to the "sometime hero turned apparent villain just needs a hug" thing that turned Doctor Strange In the Multiverse of Madness into such a fiasco, this movie somehow isn't a fiasco; it actually kind of works this time. The Hulk and a successor to the original Black Widow are also in here, one of them used to better advantage than the other, and Peter Parker gets a hard schooling (say, at a graduate level) in such subjects as letting the people he ensorcelled to forget him go on with their lives, forgetting him, and letting the changes happening in his body run their natural course. That's all good.

What I'd complain about, and you know how I like to complain, is the casting of Sadie Sink as Jean Grey. The whole timeline of this series doesn't make sense to me. Apparently, this is a setup for a whole new X-Men origins story, and so we get a snot-nosed brat version of Jean Grey rather than the Woman, with a capital W, Famke Janssen played in the early 2000s X-Men movies.

And so, without at all offering any sort of synopsis, here are the Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) Peter's sometime best friend, Ned, reveals how the knowledge that Spider-Man has saved his and MJ's lives a disproportionate number of times, abstracted from any knowledge of who Spidey really is, has messed with his mind. He gone full conspiracy-theory nut about it, and even wrote a Spidey tracker app that plays the theme music from the 1960s animated Spider-Man series. (2) Peter and Frank (as he knows the Punisher) beat up on each other while racing to catch, each in his own special way, a bad guy who threatens to bust open the prison that holds all the super-bad guys in New York. (3) The same dynamite duo, to use that word in the sense that suggests massive property destruction, battle both the Hulk and Jean Grey in a high-rise office building. Of dull moments there are few.

596. Walking on Water Hymn

I heard a sermon on this miracle of Jesus this morning, and a point that the preacher lightly brushed against in one sentence really caught hold and started to form a hymn around itself. I'm inclined to set it to a Welsh tune called Hywel, which I spotted in a Facebook post about how the "M.B.C." meter (6.7.8.7.), common in Welsh-language hymnals, is hardly ever used in English. Huh. Let's see about that.

Who are You, Lord, who walks
On storm-tossed seas, surefooted?
Take pity on my faith, which balks,
Though in Your promise rooted!

Had I dear Peter's sand
To vault the rail unthinking—
Were I indeed on solid land,
How soon I would be sinking!

Behold, O Christ, my doubts,
So swiftly, loudly thronging;
How I pass through sin's daily bouts,
You and my neighbor wronging!

But this, at least, I glean
From Peter's rush and stumble:
Your eye rests not upon the clean,
But on the poor and humble.

And this: 'tis not my faith
Which bears me through this hour—
That broken thing! Nay, but Your grace,
Your trusty word, Your power.

Oh, fix my eyes on You,
My plea for mercy hearing!
Then sure salvation I will view,
Secured through Your appearing.

Dungeon Crawler Carl

Dungeon Crawler Carl
by Matt Dinniman
Recommended Ages: 15+

Crap. Now I have to read this whole series.

I'm late to the game, but I've been aware of it happening on the periphery of whatever dull business I've been focused on since 2020. But I finally got this book before my recent vacation and read it during the scattered moments I could steal from driving, first from north-central Minnesota to south-central Missouri and back, then to the Twin Cities and the greater Great Falls, Montana area and back. And, you know, spending time with friends and family, visiting three state capitols, playing the organ at my former home church's 75th anniversary service, etc. It wasn't much time, to tell the truth. I might not have even started reading it, despite packing it in my luggage, were it not for a silly incident in which the bedframe in my Missouri guest room collapsed under me and I was too agitated afterward to go back to sleep. After that, the book filled the time available for reading about perfectly, and I left it behind in Montana for my dad to read after me. I think he'll like it. I sure did.

To pick up what this book is throwing down, you need to be at least a little aware of fantasy role-play games and first-person shooter video games. Now suppose when They Land, the aliens instantly flatten every manmade structure, killing most of the human race, then invite the survivors to "volunteer" for a reality-TV rpg/fps where they have to survive multiple levels of a worldwide dungeon, fighting monsters, collecting loot and experience points, and either dying in a way that amuses the trillions of viewers across the galaxy or surviving long enough to make it into deeper and more dangerous levels. If they survive all 18 levels, they'll win a prize worth, like, the planet. But don't get your hopes up; nobody has ever made it past, say, the 13th level.

Our hero is a Coast Guard veteran named Carl who has just broken up, by phone, with his cheating girlfriend Bea and is thinking about suing for custody of her precious show cat, Princess Donut, even if it means selling all his earthly possessions to do so. He won't have to worry about any of that for long, however. In the middle of a freezing Seattle night, he follows Donut outside when she uncharacteristically escapes from their apartment, just before WHAM!—their building, and everything else in sight, is flattened to the ground. Wearing only boxers, a leather jacket and Bea's crocs (which soon fall off), he has no choice but to enter the tantalizing warmth of the dungeon. Soon Carl and Donut are a dungeon crawling party – and she turns out to have more intelligence, strength and charisma points than he does. Together they face menacing creatures, fight boss battles, survive killer humans and begin learning the secrets to survival in a game that is at least partly about cultivating an enthusiastic social media audience.

This installment takes the pair through the first three levels of the world dungeon, and they (and we) learn a lot. They make some horrific enemies. They also form some touching friendships. They experience heartbreaking tragedy. And of course their adventure is an all-but-continuous flow of rockin' action and wise-cracking attitude. My favorite bit is the hilarious, foot-fetishist fancy the game's AI takes toward Carl, leaving him little presents with power-up "buffs" to encourage him to remain barefoot. Another favorite is when Carl and Donut get partly tricked, partly dragooned into going on an abusive panel show and Carl decides to piss the host off for all he's worth. The book also comes with a companion short story, which also seems to be the first in an ongoing series, tracking the fate of a clan of goblins Carl and Donut hoodwink along the way.

It's part dystopian commentary on what social media is doing to society, part "You're not going to break me" manifesto against the inner demons and societal madness that many of us felt surrounded by during the COVID-19 pandemic (and, significantly, this book debuted in 2020). You know, that "you don't really know what's going on, and you don't dare say what you do know because there are powers that can and will silence you" stuff that we're still feeling the effects of. It's frequently hilarious, often disturbing, totally thrilling and chilling, with some lovable characters and some creeps you'll dread meeting again. And meet them, no doubt, you will.

Matt Dinniman is the author of the litrpg duology Dominion of Blades and The Hobgoblin Riot, the "Shivered Sky" trilogy of Every Grain of Sand, In the City of Demons and The Great Devouring Darkness, and the currently eight-book "Dungeon Crawler Carl" series starting with this book. Other titles in the series are Carl's Doomsday Scenario, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook, The Gate of the Feral Gods, The Butcher's Masquerade, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride, This Inevitable Ruin and A Parade of Horribles.

My visit to the Montana State Capitol

During our visit to our parents in Montana, Ryan and I dropped in on Helena for, among other things, a self-guided tour of the State Capitol. Here are some pictures from that. This brings the total number of State Capitols I've toured to five, counting Minnesota (where my grandma took me several times when I was a boy), Missouri (which I visited multiple times while living in the state, particularly during Missouri Press Association Day at the Capitol during a couple years of my early reporting career), and the three that I visited during this year's double-barreled vacation. I've also, for the record, been outside, in bare-eyeball range of, the Capitols of Nebraska, Kansas, Wisconsin and Indiana. For what it's worth.

The Centennial Bell (1889-1989), on the third-floor gallery in the central rotunda.

One of many paintings I shot pictures of in the Capitol. Eventually I stopped downloading them to add to this post.

I can't recall who this statue depicts, nor can I read the plaque at the base, but he apparently represents some Montanans who fought in the military. Behind him, of course, you might be able to make out the name "Montana" on the front of the building. It's a pity the dome was surrounded by scaffolding when I visited the place.

A wider shot of the Capitol building, from a bit farther away. The grounds were lovely and I could almost have shot a picture of a mountain within sight of it, but for the smoky haze and intervening trees through which I couldn't find a good angle.

A view from the third-floor gallery in the rotunda. I think the second-floor hallway at center leads to the governor's office.

A view from a fourth-floor gallery, as high as you can go.

Back down on the second floor, what one of those galleries looks like from below, and some of the art around it.

The governor's office. It was a Wednesday, I believe, so the open-door policy was in force, unlike at the North Dakota capitol where we happened to stop on a Saturday.

A lounge at the entrance to the House of Representatives, full of comfy benches and more art than you want to see at this time. Oddly – again, compared to the expected location of the two chambers on opposite sides of the central rotunda – both legislative chambers are in the same wing, with the Senate closer to center and the House further down, and a kind of concession stand/snack bar in between.

The House chamber itself.

The Old Supreme Court chamber, viewed from the fourth-floor gallery.

The Old Supreme Court chamber, shot through the glass of the door on the third floor, just off the rotunda on the side opposite to the Senate chamber. What else is in that wing, you ask? Pretty much government offices.

A painting depicting, I presume, the completion of an important railroad through Montana, at the top of the main staircase off the rotunda from the second to the third floor.

The floor of that main rotunda.

The central dome with some of the surrounding art.

The Senate chamber, again shot through the glass of a closed and locked door. The windows along the sides provide a view from adjacent hallways leading back toward the House of Representatives and whatnot.

The big staircase from the second-floor rotunda to the third floor.

Another one of those paintings on the third floor, this one apparently focusing on the roles of women in settling Montana.

My visit to the North Dakota State Capitol

Last Saturday, Aug. 1, my brother, Ryan (the guy in the red "Dad-Pool" cap), and I stopped in Bismarck, N.D. around lunchtime during a two-day drive to see our parents in the Great Falls, Montana area. Here in no particular order are some shots from our guided tour of the North Dakota State Capitol.

"The Hon. John Burke of North Dakota: Legislator – Governor – Supreme Court Justice – Treasurer of the United States of America"

This is the House of Representatives chamber. The Legislature meets only during odd-numbered years and the legislators have no offices except their desks in the chamber. Contrary to the expected location of the two chambers on opposite sides of the central tower, both are in the same wing, to the left as seen facing the front steps, with the House at the front (with windows) and the Senate at the rear. The House ceiling, I was told, was designed to represent the moon and the stars.

The art deco design of the Capitol prominently features this tall tower, which (except for the second-floor memorial hall and the 18th-floor observation deck) is pretty much government offices. The House chamber is at the left with the Senate behind it, facing the rear of the building.

These portraits of N.D.'s governors are on the observation deck. The tour guide pointed out one guy, "Wild Bill" Langer, who's on there twice. He was impeached and removed from office, only to be re-elected later.

This first-floor portrait gallery of the winners of N.D.'s annual "Rough Rider Award," starting with Teddy Roosevelt himself, includes such North Dakota residents as Roger Maris and Angie Dickinson.

Here's the memorial wall in the Memorial Hall, with black marble representing North Dakotans who died serving the country. And, of course, the state seal. The Art Deco decor includes a variety of types of marble and woods, many of them rare and irreplaceable today, including one room (not pictured) called the "monkey room" because a child thought the burls in the wood resembled monkeys' eyes. The tour guide pointed out a pattern resembling Garfield (the cat).

This is the Senate chamber, which the tour guide said is affectionately called "the dark side" because of its lack of windows, though the ceiling is designed to represent the sun.

On this lawn, viewed from the observation deck, 900-some people set a Guinness world record for the number of snow angels in one place. I think you can see the Missouri River in this picture, in the upper right.

Here's that Memorial Hall again, with brass-accented rotary doors (no longer used) decorated with reliefs representing North Dakota's farmers and miners. We were told North Dakota is the number one producer of canola, honey, winter wheat and sunflowers in the nation, and it also produces a lot of coal that's mined in such a way that the land is restored to its previous condition afterward. The light fixtures are designed to represent ears of wheat.

Elevator doors on the bottom two floors are also in brass, as are the pillars in the Memorial Hall. The reliefs on them include a depiction of a settler and an Indian clubbing each other(!) with their rifles.

This hallway runs between the House and Senate chambers. More of that rare, irreplaceable wood, accented with lights designed around an Egyptian motif (typical of Art Deco). The benches along the corridor are overhung by slanted canopies that I'm told serve some acoustic function, muffling the sound of conversation beneath, so you can have a relatively private conversation.

My visit to the Iowa State Capitol

So, I was stopping in Des Moines to break a trip from Minnesota to Missouri last week, and this happened. Enjoy!

I wished I could have photographed the smell of this library.

A detail from the House of Representatives chamber, which I was able to enter because a tour guide was leading a group through it.

Legislators apparently have mailboxes in this little post office inside the Capitol.

The Supreme Court.

The House of Representatives. Sorry, I couldn't get inside the Senate.

The U.S.S. Iowa, scale replica.