Epistemological Tackiness

This week's lighted-sign message at the neighborhood ELCA clearinghouse for tacky platitudes:

TO KNOW GOD'S WILL
SAY "I WILL" TO GOD

Wow. That's an answer that opens up so many new questions! For example:

1. Since when do Lutherans teach that your act of will makes you at one with God?

2. Since when has any breed of "small-c catholic" Christianity regarded an individual's self-surrender as a source of divine revelation?

3. What about listening to what God says in His Word?

4. What if His Word says, "Thou shalt not"?

5. Need I remind you, it's two weeks before Christmas? Where is the seasonal tackiness we should expect? Do these Lutherans not observe Advent anymore?