Old Spice

OFFICIAL: Who's next?

DUDE: That'll be me.

OFFICIAL: What can I help you with?

(DUDE unzips what appears to be a shaving kit and starts pulling out various spice jars and lining them up on the counter)

DUDE: I'd like to register these spices to vote.

OFFICIAL: You what? Surely you're not serious.

DUDE: Ain't I? I'm actually kind of ashamed I didn't get around to this in time for the last election cycle.

OFFICIAL: But how could you dream that this could be legal?

DUDE: If it's about the age requirement, they're old enough for sure. My goodness, I've had this jar of marjoram since the George W. Bush administration. And I'm pretty sure I inherited this canister of chili powder from my grandma.

OFFICIAL: I see. Well, there's a problem with that. You have to be a person to vote.

DUDE: Oh, these guys have personality all right. Terragon here is such a card! And oh, my goodness, cayenne is opinionated.

OFFICIAL: I mean a human person.

DUDE: So, like, Soylent Green is good enough, but not an honest fella from Indonesia like, say, nutmeg here? That smacks of racism if you ask me.

OFFICIAL: Now wait a minute, you can't just throw around accusations like that.

DUDE: Why not? What's wrong with being brown? Or green? Or ... what is this color, exactly? And it's not as if they still hold the flavor of their homeland, after all this time. They're quite assimilated.

OFFICIAL: It's a matter of citizenship. Being able to make a useful contribution to society, and all that.

DUDE: Useful? You want useful? These guys give flavor to life. They're the only reason I can choke down the cheap rubbish I can afford to bring home from the market. Also, I'm pretty sure turmeric is an over-the-counter medicine these days.

OFFICIAL: (squinting at the date on a jar of paprika) But look here, this stuff is expired.

DUDE: That hasn't stopped plenty of voters from getting registered!

Catechesis Warm-Up Songs, Part 3

For Part 3 of this group of youth catechesis ditties, we move on to the third chief part of Luther's Small Catechism: The Lord's Prayer, a.k.a. the Our Father, which Luther analyzes as seven petitions plus an introduction (what it means to pray to God as "our Father") and the meaning of the word "Amen." So, it's a part with nine subparts, and at the risk of having more warm-up songs than actual lessons, here's a song for each of them. Art: The Lord's Prayer by James Tissot, †1902, public domain.

572. Praying to Our Father
Tune: NUN DANKET ALL by Johann Crüger, 1656
(cf. "Come, let us join our cheerful songs," etc.)

Our Father! Oh, how wondrous dear
It is that name to say
And know the Lord is sure to hear,
Since so He bids us pray!

Disciples, see what steadfast love
Our Father to us shows,
That He who dwells in heav'n above
Stoops down to hold us close.

See with what love He holds us now
To be His children dear,
His charge to pray a very vow
Our heart's desire to hear.

Christ is our advocate; indeed,
The Spirit bids us cry
"Our Father! Abba!" in our need:
Who are we to deny?

Our Father! So our prayer shall flow
From faith as fragrant sap.
Oh, grant that when no words we know,
Your love will fill the gap!

573. Hallowing God's Name (1st Petition)
Tune: LOBT DEN HERRN, DIE MORGENSONNE, Halle, 1829
(cf. "Hark! the Church proclaims her honor")

Holy is Your name, dear Father;
Be it likewise in our midst.
Let our hearts and lips no other
Name in creed or prayer enlist.

Yea, with Christ and with the Spirit
We confess You Three in One:
Would we call on You in fear, it
Cannot otherwise be done.

Set aside Your name among us
By the witness we have heard:
For the serpent's tooth had stung us
Ere You sent the living Word.

He it is whose blood and dying,
Yea, whose victory makes clean.
Every other rock denying,
On the name of Christ we lean.

Through the Word Your name possessing,
We find mercy, peace, and light.
Lord, secure to us this blessing:
Keep our doctrine pure and right!

Frustrate them whose faithless teaching
Would Your holy name disgrace!
Seal us with Your truth, till reaching
Paradise, we see Your face.

574. The Kingdom of God (2nd Petition)
Tune: GOTT SEI DANK, Halle, 1704
(cf. "Jesus! Name of wondrous love," etc.)

Lord, Your kingdom surely comes
Everywhere, without delay,
Though our generation plumbs
Depths of wickedness each day.

Bring Your kingdom even now,
Even here by us, we plead:
Reign in bosom, reign in brow,
Reign in word and silent deed!

Build with us as living stones
Such a house as suits Your word;
Quicken our dry, useless bones,
For Your saving purpose spurred.

Move our hands and stir our feet;
Open mouths to testify,
Leading to Your kingly seat
Those who now in bondage lie.

Not in highest heav'n alone,
Far removed from man or beast,
But among us bring Your throne,
Savior of the lost and least!

575. The Will of God (3rd Petition)
Tune: LUTHER SEMINARY by John Dahle, 1911
(cf. "Lord of the everlasting light," etc.)

As in the heavens, so on earth
Be Your will done, O Lord,
Who our salvation brought to birth
And still rich gifts afford!

It lies in You, not us, to judge
What best supplies our need.
While through hard passages we trudge,
Help us good news to heed.

All counsels break that will not let
Your name be glorified,
Your kingdom come—that rather set
What pleases You aside.

But strengthen us against our foes
Within, around, below;
Preserve us through their raging throes
While You Your purpose show.

And when our pilgrimage is past,
The curtain swiftly draw:
Reveal Your mysteries at last
To our devout "Aha!"

576. Daily Bread (4th Petition)
Tune: FESTAL SONG by William Henry Walter, †1893
(cf. "For all your saints, O Lord," etc.)

For daily bread, O God,
Our eyes on You are set.
All needs at home and those abroad
You perfectly have met.

Not only for our food,
Lord, are we in Your debt:
For You supply us every good,
Ne'er slumber, ne'er forget.

We thank You for our toils
That hunger often whet,
And for our labor's honest spoils,
The fruit borne of our sweat.

Yea, all the means You use
To blunt dread famine's threat
We take as gifts and not as dues,
Spurn worry and regret.

And should our prayer, O Lord,
Be answered with "Not yet,"
Fix eye and heart on our reward
Before all ages set.

577. The Forgiveness of Sins (5th Petition)
Tune: LLEF by Griffith Hugh Jones, †1919
(cf. "That day of wrath, that dreadful day")

Father, forgive our daily sins!
We know full well what we have done:
Our prayer, our worship scarce begins
When into vanity we run!

Pardon the injuries we deal
Our neighbor both in word and deed—
Even at heart, wrongs just as real:
Each crooked thought, each unfelt need.

Pardon the virtues we presume
Before Your righteous eyes to flaunt:
The pride itself that merits doom,
The half-obedience we vaunt.

On their account, almighty God,
You rightly could reject our prayer;
Only because of Jesus' blood
We beg and trust You to forbear.

Therefore we pray, for Jesus' sake,
Forgive our faults; erase our debt!
With Your help, we will undertake
Our neighbor's trespass to forget.

578. Delivered from Temptation (6th Petition)
Tune: PICARDY, French, 17th century
(cf. "Let all mortal flesh keep silence")

Lead us not into temptation!
Lord, You know our weakness well,
And from Eden's desolation
Fought right to the gates of hell:
Only You the foe's frustration
Have fulfilled since Adam fell.

Be our strength when Satan's guises
Blur our view of what You will;
When the flesh's lure surprises,
Bent on luxury or thrill;
When the world dins what it prizes
All around us, never still.

Jesus, Adam's greater scion,
Watch with us another day!
Keep from us the roaring lion,
Prowling for unguarded prey,
That we may at last to Zion
Muster safely from the fray.

579. Delivered from Evil (7th Petition)
Tune: WEM IN LEIDENSTAGEN by Friedrich Filitz, 1847
(cf. "Glory be to Jesus")

Jesus, see what evils
Threaten us today!
Errors and upheavals
Press in on our way.

From ills of the body—
Famine, plague, and sword,
Vices gross and gaudy—
Save us, holy Lord!

From ills of the spirit
Likewise be our Guard,
Lest we, drawing near it,
From Your feast be barred.

Yea, we dare implore You,
Guard our goods and fame
Till we stand before You
Safe from earthly shame.

Never, Lord, forsake us
In our woes and fears,
Hastening to take us
From this vale of tears.

580. Saying Amen
Tune: LOBT GOTT, IHR CHRISTEN by Nikolaus Herman, 1554
(cf. "Praise God the Lord, ye sons of men")

Lord, Yours the kingdom, Yours the pow'r
And glory without end
From all eternity, this hour,
And evermore, Amen!
Again we say, Amen!

This word Amen, confessing truth,
Befits believing prayer;
For You have taught us from our youth
To trust Your promise fair
And witness to it bear.

We learned the very words we pray
From You, Immanuel.
With certainty Amen we say,
For no lie can You tell,
Who in our Father dwell.

Catechesis Warm-Up Songs, Part 2

Part 2 of this youth catechesis hymn project coincides with the second chief part of Luther's Small Catechism: the Creed, broken up into three articles. So here's my stab at a warm-up song for each unit in that series of lessons. Art: An illuminated, 14th century Bible manuscript depicting the attibuton of the Apostles' Creed to the Twelve, public domain.

569. The Father and Creation (1st Article)
Tune: ZEUCH MEINEN GEIST, a.k.a. ST. GREGORY, J. B. König’s Choralbuch, 1738
(cf. "O God of Love, O King of Peace" in Common Service Book and Service Book and Hymnal; also "Great God! we sing that mighty Hand" in CSB)

In God the Father I believe:
The God who has created me
And all things, from Whom I receive
All that I need, abundantly.

My soul and body, mind and heart
Are His to give and to preserve;
Rich daily gifts does He impart,
Regardless of what I deserve.

My flesh from danger does He shield,
My soul from evil saves and wards:
All thanks and praise to God I yield
For all His Father-love affords.

570. The Son and Redemption (2nd Article)
Tune: HERRNHUT by Bartholomäus Gesius, †1613
(cf. "Jesus, Thy blood and righteousness" in SBH, Lutheran Hymnary and Ev. Lutheran Hymnary)

I trust in God's eternal Son,
True God, true Man by Mary's womb,
Who on the cross redemption won
And rose victorious from the tomb.

I have been purchased, not with gold
Or silver, but with priceless blood,
When Jesus into death was sold,
My evil covering with good.

So I rejoice to be His own
And offer Him my everything,
Here and before His glorious throne—
My slain and ever living King!

571. The Spirit and the Church (3rd Article)
Tune: RATISBON, Leipzig, 1815
(cf. "Christ, whose glory fills the skies")

Not by reason, nor by will,
Nor by sentimental thrill,
Nor from any power in me
Came the faith that set me free;
But the Holy Spirit's light
Turned my blindness into sight.

You and I, believers all,
Owe it to the Spirit's call,
Gath'ring us around the Word
That plants faith where it is heard,
With baptism and sacrament
Working Jesus' kind intent.

Those now to salvation wise
God the Spirit sanctifies,
Giving everything we lack,
Proofing us from each attack
Of the world, our flesh, our foe,
Till He bids us heav'nward go.

Catechesis Warm-Up Songs, Part 1

I've had a new brainwave for a series of hymns, to set me up for another section of the upcoming book, Profitable Hymns. I'd like to think of them as warm-up songs for a youth catechism class, with each piece designed to be brief, simple, straight-to-the-point and (hopefully) catchy, if I can come up with appropriate tunes to go with them. To start, here are some ditties to open lessons on each of the Ten Commandments (adding them as I write them), as explained in Luther's Small Catechism. Note: If you're going to have a problem with how I number the Ten Commandments, take it up with Martin Luther. A second note: the numbering of the songs is only meant to maintain the continuity of the numbering (from zero) of the original hymns as I've posted them on this blog.

558. No Other God (1st Commandment)
Tune: YOU ONLY by yours truly, just now

You only, God, You only
Are the true and living Lord,
All worthy, yea, all worthy
To be worshiped and adored.

You rightly, God, are jealous
Of the race You raised from dust:
So help us, God, be zealous
In Your fear and love and trust.

559. God's Holy Name (2nd Commandment)
Tune: WALDER by Johann J. Walder, 1788
(cf. "How precious is the Book divine")

We thank You, Lord, for every gift
Pledged in Your holy name.
Help us with fear and love to lift
It up, Your word proclaim.

Hold back the tongue that would profane
Your word with craven lies,
That pries in mystery's domain
And Your plain truth denies.

Hold back the idle tongue, that we
May not call out in vain,
But glorify Your majesty
And all we ask, obtain.

560. The Lord's Day (3rd Commandment)
Tune: POSTDAM by J.S. Bach, †1750
(cf. "'Tis good, Lord, to be here")

Dear God, You chose the hour
To shoulder all our strife:
We hear You speak with saving power
That turns our death to life.

Oh, where is such a word,
For sinners such a rest?
Grant that Your holy day, O Lord,
May unto us be blest!

Help us to count this time
No longer ours but Yours,
Devoted to the grace sublime
That from Christ Jesus pours.

561. Honoring Your Parents (4th Commandment)
Tune: PAA SIT KORS by Hartnack O.K. Zinck, 1801
(cf. "Zion, to thy Savior singing" in the old Lutheran Hymnary)

Father, You have placed above us
Those who care for us and love us:
So grant that we may with joy
Serve them, faithfully subjected,
And when chided or corrected,
Humble deference employ.

As at home, in church and nation,
In our studies and vocation,
May we not provoke their ire.
Help us recognize You working
Through their office, never shirking
From the duty they require.

562. Do Not Murder (5th Commandment)
Tune: FRANCONIA, German, 1720
(cf. "Within the Father's house," etc.)

God, who on Adam's clay
Your lively image stamped,
Protect his offspring, who this day
See death against us camped.

Give us a heart that burns
With love for all his seed,
And that from hate and anger turns
To serve each other's need.

Grant us the will to care
For all with life and breath,
And willingly their burden bear
Till Christ makes spoil of death.

563. Sexual Purity (6th Commandment)
Tune: LIGHT DIVINE, a.k.a. SONG 13 by Orlando Gibbons, †1625
(cf. "Holy Spirit, Light divine")

Dearest Jesus, pure and true,
Form me more and more like You:
By the Holy Spirit's fire
Cleanse me of corrupt desire.

Grant, like Jacob, that I wait
For one choice and cherished mate,
Lest like Esau, my birthright
I'd exchange for brief delight.

Keep my words and dealings chaste;
Shield me from degrading taste,
For I know, dear Lord, to You
Undivided love is due.

564. Do Not Steal (7th Commandment)
Tune: DUNDEE, Scottish Psalter, 1615
(cf. "God moves in a mysterious way," etc.)

Providing God, with more than food
You keep all flesh alive:
Shall I, therefore, of any good
My neighbor now deprive?

No, Lord! But rather would I lift
Their hands to hold secure,
Yea, even multiply Your gift,
Resisting greed's allure.

For every trust is Yours to lend
And Yours to take away,
Till Christ steals in to make an end
Of need in that great day.

565. Testifying Truly (8th Commandment)
Tune: ANGELUS, Heilige Seelenlust, Breslau, 1657
(cf. "At even, ere the sun was set," etc.)

Faithful are You in all You say:
Guard then, O Lord, my fickle tongue,
So sharp to cut, to lead astray,
With words to do my neighbor wrong.

With You, the Word is more than fact:
Eternally begotten Son,
Uniting speech with potent act,
You ever live, with God are One.

I shall then let my yea be yea,
My no be no, my witness true,
And good things of my neighbor say
Before all men, and unto You.

566. Mind Your Desires (9th Commandment)
Tune: KOMM, O KOMM, DU GEIST DES LEBENS, Meiningen, 1693
(cf. "Come, O come, Thou quickening Spirit")

Lord, what wanting, plotting, scheming
Dwells within my selfish heart,
Which by fraud, yet upright seeming,
Seeks to grasp my neighbor's part!
Though the deed I never do,
Such desire is sin to You.

I am guilty, just as surely
As if thought won its effect.
Inwardly, yea, wholly, purely,
Your law bids me be correct.
So betraying You within,
How can I be free from sin?

Jesus, graciously forgiving,
Your desire for me is pure.
Live in me the life I'm living
And be my pollution's cure,
That my neighbor's rightful part
I may cherish in my heart.

567. Mind Your Vocation (10th Commandment)
Tune: CHRISTUS, DER IST MEIN LEBEN by Melchior Vulpius, 1609
(cf. "For me to live is Jesus")

Lord, thank You for my station
At home and everywhere,
For blessing each relation
Entrusted to my care.

Let angel hosts attend me;
Help me to deal aright.
From enviers defend me;
Subdue their guile and spite.

Let none by arts beguiling
Estrange those in my care;
Though menacing or smiling,
An evil thing they dare.

Keep me, as well, from seeking
To take my neighbor's place.
May I, when of him speaking,
His interest embrace.

Wherever I have lusted,
O God, my sin forgive!
For as You have entrusted
To each, so shall he live.

568. Summary of the Commandments (Exodus 20:5-6)
Tune: YOU ONLY (again; cf. 558)

You only, God, are worthy
Of all fear and love and trust,
Both heavenly and earthy,
Even ours, though we are dust.

You threaten to repay them
Who would answer You with hate;
You promise to array them
In Your grace, who on You wait.

Make us such heirs of blessing!
Grant to us a hearing heart,
Into Your kingdom pressing
As Your people, set apart.

ART: The tablets of The Ten Commandments, in a still from the film by that name, public domain.

557. Good Friday Exhortation

O benighted generation,
Groping, stumbling, short of sight,
Raise your heads! For now salvation,
Once for all, is brought to light.
Christ is publicly presented
As the Lamb who bears all sin:
On Him solely oriented,
Eyes of faith shall drink Him in.

All you deaf and hard of hearing,
Stammering or slow of tongue,
Raise your heads! For tidings cheering
Shall henceforth be told and sung.
Hark, your Shepherd's voice is calling
Each by name to rich repast.
Hear Him: spurn the false, enthralling
Babble of the age at last!

Lame and limping pilgrims, straying
From God's hard and narrow way,
Raise your heads! See Christ displaying
Nail-scarred feet, your debt to pay.
Freed from sin, make haste to follow
Him whose tread subdues the sea.
Turn aside from byways hollow;
Let His cross your polestar be.

All you poor, you brokenhearted,
Captives, outcast, and unclean,
Raise your heads! The veil is parted;
Now God's Mercy-Seat is seen.
Pain and woe last but a season;
Death is made a blessed sleep,
And the hope of life our reason
That a prayerful watch we keep.

ART: Andrey Mironov, free to use under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.

Three Movie Reviews

Over the weekend, I saw three movies – one a little old, two brand new.

First there was the film adaptation of Andy Weir's novel Project Hail Mary, which I really enjoyed. Upon reviewing my review of the book, I see that I've been salivating over this movie since last September. Oh, cruel, cruel Hollywood, holding out on a really decent movie for so long!

So, at the risk of repeating what I said in my book review, the story is about a guy named Grace who wakes up from an induced coma with no memory whatsoever. By a combination of science and a slow drip of returning memory, he gradually works out that he's on a mission to Tau Ceti, something like 12 light years from Earth, because it's smack in the middle of a cluster of stars – including our sun – that are dying due to an interstellar plague of energy-eating microbes; and yet it (Tau Ceti) doesn't seem to be affected. He was apparently one of three astronauts sent in a ship propelled by these astrophage ("they toot, they scoot") to find out what Tau Ceti got that they ain't got and, for some reason, he's now the only one left alive. Soon after he gets to Tau Ceti, he encounters a representative of a completely non-anthropomorphic alien race who is also there for the same reason and, tragically, also the only surviving member of his crew. The fate of both their worlds depends on them figuring out what is keeping Tau Ceti peppy and how to send that home.

Rocky, the alien from 40 Eridani, is a surprise in the book but no effort was expended on keeping him a surprise for the movie. It works well for what it's billed as: a heartwarming, thought-provoking, near-future sci-fi buddy comedy featuring a lone human and a puppet (not CGI) alien. Alien who somehow conveys a distinct personality and a whole range of moods without having a face, or really almost any other recognizable characteristic of people as we know them. He eventually gets a voice, thanks to a computer subroutine that Grace programs to translate his complex language of musical tones. And the two of them develop a beautiful friendship that makes it possible for an audience to sit throughout a more than two-and-a-half-hour movie without complaining. Meanwhile, they're laughing, crying, feeling all kinds of emotions, and while the flashbacks do keep it from being altogether a one-man show, Ryan Gosling's acting as Grace deserves a lot of the credit for that.

Besides Gosling, the cast also includes academy award nominee Sandra Hüller (Zone of Interest) as the head of the Hail Mary Project, who dragoons Grace into sacrificing his future to save humanity; James Ortiz as the voice and lead puppeteer of Rocky; Ken Leung (Lost) as one of Grace's ill-fated crewmates; Lionel Boyce (The Bear) as a sympathetic security guard; and a one-line voice cameo by Meryl Streep. The screenplay is by Drew Goddard, who also wrote the screenplay for Weir's The Martian; directors are Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, directors of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 21 and 22 Jump Street and The Lego Movie, and writers/producers of the Spider-Verse movies. So, a quality team there! And the results are a tremendously successful movie that, for just this moment, seems to be restoring audiences' faith in the possibility of really good movies. And by really good movie, I mean one that I've already seen not once but twice, at full theater price, with no regret whatsoever.

Three Scenes that Made It For Me: (1) Rocky's first hug, awkward in so many ways, all of them just right. (2) The dangerous mission to scoop "taumoeba" out of the atmosphere of the planet Adrian (just try to guess where that name came from) and all of the thrilling and devastating ways it goes wrong. (3) Hüller's karaoke scene, which (according to an excerpt from an interview that I saw online the other night) she apparently refused to do unless the song could be Harry Styles' "Sign of the Times." In the context of the story, it was a haunting choice.

The second film of the weekend was a streaming-on-TV presentation of The Ride from 2018. It's a fictionalized biography of BMX champion John Buultjens, starring rapper Ludacris and Rizzoli & Isles alum Sasha Alexander as his adoptive parents. Very fictionalized, it turns out. You actually see the guy himself at the end of the film, and there's no way the technology used by the teenaged version of his character existed when he was that age. Apparently he's from Scotland as well, while the kid in the movie seems to be from the L.A. area. But regardless of all that, it's an emotionally stirring story about a kid brought up in an abusive, racist home who, after a spell in juvenile detention (he stabs his dad to protect his mom), gets a chance to experience a loving family ... from an interracial couple. And also, despite never having learned to ride a bike, he goes on to win a big BMX championship.

I'm not going to belabor the synopsis. The kid is troubled. He's trouble. He gets a hard start in life and, by the time his teens hit, he's a hard young man. He's slow to accept a black man as his foster (and eventually adoptive) dad. He has a tendency to get into trouble. He's a fighter – a survivor. And as his attitudes change and his goals come into focus, he faces an old threat in a new form: the skinhead gang his father belonged to, and that his older brother still belongs to.

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) The young bookworm, who has never gotten on half so well with people as with books, wins over the prettiest girl in history class by giving her a hint based on his knowledge of ancient Greek heroes. (2) After some behavioral hiccups reveal his longing to learn how to do BMX bike tricks, young John accepts some help from his foster-dad. (3) The tough older brother comes to the rescue when the Aryan Brotherhood targets John and his new family.

Finally, yesterday's matinee was The Pout-Pout Fish, based on the children's book by Deborah Diesen and featuring the voices of Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreation), Miranda Otto (Eowyn from The Lord of the Rings), Jordin Sparks (2007 winner of American Idol), Amy Sedaris (BoJack Horseman), and Remy Hii (Crazy Rich Asians). Unlike Project Hail Mary, which I've been waiting to see since last September, I'd never heard of this movie until the day I saw it. It was part of the appeal, to tell the truth.

The part-American, part-Australian movie tells the story of a grumpy blue fish with a perpetual frown, who likes to keep to himself. A young sea dragon named Pip disturbs his tranquility, and after a mishap destroys both of their homes, they go on a quest to find a legendary, wish-granting fish known as Shimmer. Meanwhile, a cuttlefish whose habitat is becoming uninhabitable due to a kelp infestation, sets off to seek the same source of magical help. Their paths cross multiple times, colliding as well with dolphins, sharks, whales, jellyfish, gossipy starfish and all kinds of other denizens of the deep in a series of adventures that range from funny to thrilling to scary and a little sad. Of course everybody learns lessons and they all come together at the end to solve the problems that threaten everybody's way of life in this diverse little corner of the ocean.

I thought it was an adorable movie, with a tender heart, a sharp sense of humor and gorgeous imagery. So I'll get right to Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) a trio of bedazzled, but very carnivorous, dolphins menaces the hero pair. (2) The cuttlefish use their power to hypnotize all the fish on the reef in their dastardly plan to redevelop it as their own habitat. (3) Mr. Fish (I love the name) remembers why he believes in Shimmer.

556. Doctors of the Church Hymn

I had been toying with the idea of adding a "Doctors of the Church" hymn to my ongoing hymnal project, based on the commemorations of Dr. Martin Luther (Feb. 18), C.F.W. Walther (May 7) and the Presentation of the Augsburg Confession (June 25), which were among the propers in Lutheran Worship (predecessor to Lutheran Service Book) under "Minor Festivals." I didn't get any traction until I spotted the tune SALUS MORTALIUM (Erfurt, 1663) while working on a different project, and it caught my fancy. Here's what it looks like, with the first stanza of the hymn and some performance instructions that speak for themselves, I think:

And here's the full text:

Christ, who the doctors did astound,
In latter days, by grace profound,
You deigned the gospel to propound—
Alleluia!—
Through learned men of spirit sound.

Martin Luther:
2. We praise Your providential hand
For nerving Martin's "Here I stand,"
Whose witness, like a glowing brand—
Alleluia!—
Stirred faith to flame in many a land.

3. Grant in these latter days such nerve
That from Your word will never swerve.
Equip us with men apt to serve;
Alleluia!
Your faithful church through them preserve.

C.F.W. Walther:
2. We thank You for the prudent mind
That You to Ferdinand assigned,
Which Law and Gospel's limits lined—
Alleluia!—
And that with pastor's care entwined!

3. Lord, from Your word's well-ordered stores,
Feed us on these as other shores!
Unclose to us salvation's doors;
Alleluia!
Help us use rightly what is Yours!

Presentation of the Augsburg Confession:
2. We thank You for the noble men,
With Philipp's perspicacious pen,
Who spoke a unified Amen—
Alleluia!—
And trained the church on Christ again.

3. Still by their witness, Savior, bless
The church, that we Your name confess,
Keep what is good, avoid excess—
Alleluia!—
And gain the crown of righteousness!

Concluding stanza:
4. Propitiator for our race,
Bless all who Your appearing trace,
That many may the truth embrace—
Alleluia!—
Your pledge of justifying grace!

555. For a Chastened Church

Christ, who with braided cords
The temple purified,
Purge us as well of seeming lords
That turn our steps aside.

Cleanse all our aims and means
Of what beguiles our eyes;
Dispel the sentiment that leans
On that which in us lies.

Make ours a fellowship
That on Your nurture thrives;
Let no drop slip twixt cup and lip
Which faith and love revives.

If it must be with pain
Your discipline we feel,
Give us provisions that sustain
Our hearts with pious zeal.

On You, O Savior, fix
Our eyes, our doctrine plumb;
Deliver us from Satan's tricks
And strike our grumbling dumb.

For by sure word and sign
You work Your gracious will:
Let us therefore these treasures mine
And spread Your kingdom still.

TUNE: I'm thinking about SWABIA by J.M. Spiess (†1772), which has been variously paired with such hymns as "Forever with the Lord" (Ev. Lutheran Hymnary), "Jesus, my Truth, My Way" (Ev. Lutheran Hymn-Book, The Lutheran Hymnal), "Praise we the Lord this day" (TLH) and "How wide the love of Christ" (Lutheran Service Book). A nice, modest, sturdy tune that hasn't been overexposed, I think. ART: Bernardino Mei (†1676), Christ cleansing the temple, public domain.

The Bride!

Last night I traveled an hour in each direction to see either this movie or EPiC (Baz Luhrman's documentary/concert film about Elvis) and at the moment of stepping up to the cashier, I plumped for this movie, primarily because it had an earlier showtime. Maggie Gyllenhaal wrote and directed this loose adaptation of Bride of Frankenstein, featuring presumptive soon-to-be Oscar winner for best actress Jessie Buckley (Hamnet) in the title role and Christian Bale as a Frankenstein's Monster who comes to Chicago sometime in the 1930s to ask a reanimator, played by Annette Bening, to jump-start a dead woman for him because he is perishing of loneliness. The corpse they happen to dig up is that of Ida, a mobster's moll who was possessed by the ghost of Mary Shelley when she took a fatal tumble down a flight of stairs, but the Bride doesn't remember any of that. She comes to vivid, shocking life, engaging in scandalous behavior, leading "Frank" on an interstate crime spree, and you know, trying to live out Laurel Thatcher Ulrich's dictum that "well-behaved women seldom make history."

It's a take on Bride of Frankenstein that takes its departure from the idea of Shelley as a woman of revolutionary talent who was robbed of her opportunity to push her mother's feminist ideology by her own early death from brain cancer. The ghost, manifesting through Ida/the Bride (sometimes going as Penny) in fits of British-accented literary wordplay, wants to get the story out so badly that it costs the girl her life. Kind of. She was also, kind of, rubbed out by the gangsters she ran with, including a revolting fellow named Lupino who collects the tongues of people he had silenced and who, in one scene, blithely shoots one of his stooges between the eyes, wipes a splash of blood off his cheek, and carries on eating lunch entirely undisturbed. But now, as the Bride, she has become the more flamboyant half of a cross-country murder spree duo, trailed by a none-too-diligent detective (Peter Sarsgaard) and his sharp-as-a-tack secretary (Penélope Cruz), who have spotted a pattern: The killings go wherever movies starring a certain smiling crooner and dancer (played in a bunch of movies-within-the-movie by Jake Gyllenhaal) are playing. Because, as you know, Frankenstein's monster is a big fan of musical comedy. Joking aside, there's a tender spot here that furnishes one of the film's tragic themes.

So, enough synopsis. Trust me, the paragraphs above don't come close to doing justice to this movie's storyline. It's just a taster of an astoundingly weird movie. It's definitely an original, if you'll pardon the contradiction with the plain fact that it's adapted from previous work. It's so unlike what I am accustomed to seeing at the movies that I frankly couldn't tell while I was seeing it, and still don't know, whether I liked it or not. It's either a brilliant movie despite significant flaws or a disaster with flashes of brilliance in it. Frank and the Bride each reveal facets of themesleves that touch me deeply, striking right to the heart. They also do some awful things and get involved in some icky scenes, at both ends of the high-low class spectrum. They can't seem to stop making horrific mistakes, bringing to mind the proverb, "No matter where you go, there you are." But they keep doing surprising things, too, like ... well, let's get to that in ...

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) The monster couple crashes a tuxedos-and-champagne affair while dodging cops in New York City. Frank finds himself standing before Ronnie Reed, the movie star he is not very ambiguously in love with, declaring his feelings and experiencing soul-crushing rejection. In one scene, the movie shows its full range of tone, from the monster's heartbreaking vulnerability to an outrageous "brain attack" dance in which the reanimated couple leads a ballroom full of unwilling participants before concluding in a tense, armed standoff with police and a violent escape. (2) Frank tells the Bride the story of how he proposed to her. He's lying, of course. But it's the lie she desperately wants to hear because she has no memory of her life before "the accident." Her need is so touching, and his lies are so clever and entertaining, that you can almost but not quite dismiss the niggling note of doom that buzzes through the scene. (3) In a later scene that forms a matching pair with No. 2, Frank admits the truth to the Bride and actually proposes marriage to her in a moment that brings the tragedy of their romance to a shattering height.

It's a strange, strange movie. A lot of it is improbable to the point of absurdity. Some of it comes close to feeling like a hallucination. It has a fat streak of revolutionary feminist wish-fulfillment running through it (the "brain attack" spreads, you know), turning the corner into an alternate history where anything can happen and you just have to live with it. The monsters become the latest rage. The movies become a lifeline for a creature who, on one hand, has apparently lived for over a century and, on the other hand, really seems capable of dying of loneliness. It has Annette Bening playing a genius who can only be talked into violating every covenant of scientific ethics by the appeal, "I thought you were a mad scientist." It has Jake G. as an actor who, upon hearing that his cheerful screen persona saved a man from oblivion, laughs it off with a cruel put-down. It has a heavily accented Penélope Cruz as a character whose name, Myrna Malloy, is perhaps the most preposterous thing said aloud during the entire film. And all kinds of other stuff the surprise of which I wouldn't spoil for all the world. Still not sure whether I think it's a good movie or a bad movie, it's definitely a movie I'll be thinking about for some time to come.

Hoppers

Last night I broke a three-week streak of not seeing any movies because nothing was playing that interested me. I went to see this new Disney-Pixar animated feature, and despite coming away feeling as if clubbed over the head by environmentalist propaganda, I really enjoyed the movie. Everyone I've mentioned it to assumes, from the title, that it's about bunnies. Actually, it's called "Hoppers" because of a hand-wavy gadget that allows a group of scientists to "hop" their minds into a robot designed to fool wildlife into carrying on with their business, the better to study said business. They've got one that looks like a bird, a bunny one to be sure, but the one that main character Mabel hijacks resembles a beaver.

Mabel, an undergrad at Beaverton University, has grown up taking solace from the diverse wildlife that inhabits the glade near her late grandma's house. Now the town's greedy Mayor Jerry wants to route a ring road right through the glade, and nobody seems to care enough to help Mabel stop him. Apparently the only option left is to get the animals, that have mysteriously moved away from the glade, to move back before the bulldozers arrive. So, Mabel takes drastic measures, running off in robot beaver form to infiltrate the animal community and try to sway the mammal king, also a beaver, to help her save the glade. Her meddling in animal politics leads to one disaster after another, and despite her lofty ends, her means are pretty questionable. Pretty soon, Mabel, King George and a handful of his most faithful followers are on the run, with other classes of animals out to get them and, particularly, to "squish" Jerry in order to stop the bypass being built. Ironically, Mabel finds herself having to protect humans from rampaging wildlife, all to restore the balance that she (and Jerry, don't forget) have knocked akilter.

It's a fun thrill ride, with lots of laughs, some emotional beats that hit hard, and flawed characters who make mistakes and grow from them, get knocked down and pick themselves up again, lose battles and keep fighting, hurt each other and forgive each other, and engage in meaningful discussion about such beliefs as whether or not everyone is basically good. It's got lots of action and outrageous imagery, including a gigantic shark that goes aerial – if you have to ask, just see the movie – as well as an evil insect that "hops" its mind into a robotic human body as part of a dastardly plan to turn the tables on mankind. There are triumphs and defeats and an ascending sequence of gosh-wow spectacle. Friendships overcoming communication barriers and differences of worldview. Chases. Rescues. And never a dull moment.

The voice cast includes Saturday Night Live alums Bobby Moynihan as George the beaver, Melissa Villaseñor as Ellen the bear, Vanessa Bayer as Diane the shark and Ego Nwodim as the fish queen, Jon Hamm (Mad Men) as Mayor Jerry, Kathy Najimy (Sister Act) as Professor "Sam," the brains behind hopping; Dave Franco (Now You See Me) as Titus the insect king, the unrelated Eduardo Franco (Stranger Things) as a stoner beaver named Loaf, Meryl Streep as the insect queen (Titus's mother), and Joe Spano (Hill Street Blues) as the old man Mabel spends a day with while trying to get signatures on a petition.

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) Mabel (in beaver form) and friends ride along with a terrified Mayor Jerry during a car chase with Dr. Sam and her grad students, who are trying to get their robot back, while Diane the shark attacks from overhead. "You will feel a biting sensation, followed by death..." (2) The council of the animal monarchs meets, and Mabel does not do as George instructs and let him do the talking. The disaster is terrifying and hilarious! (3) Mabel befriends Ellen and Loaf – actually by offending them when she prevents the bear from eating the beaver. Naturally, this violates the pond rules, particularly "If you have to eat, eat." Mabel: "Sorry. Go ahead and eat him, then." Ellen: "I can't now. You've made it weird."

Revelations

Love, Lies & Hocus Pocus: Revelations
by Lydia Sherrer
Recommended Ages: 12+

In this second book of "The Lily Singer Adventures," Atlanta, Georgia-based wizard Lily performs the ultimate act of rebellion against her mother and her mentor, who have both withheld knowledge from her – knowledge about her magical heritage. How? By going and finding out for herself, to her great cost. Were it not for a cat familiar who has suddenly picked up the ability to speak (or rather, Lily has learned to understand his meows), and a certain ne'er-do-well male witch (not that witches e'er do well, generally speaking), Lily might lose her very self.

So, once again, wizards in Lily's world have an inherited connection to a Source of power, manipulated with runes, charms and incantations in an ancient tongue, while witches like her friend Sebastian have no such ability. Instead, they achieve magical power by making deals with powerful beings like the fae (Sebastian's specialty) or, gulp, demons. One of the demon-summoning kind goes up against the duo in the first part of this novel, which is (once again) structured as two novellas connected by an "interlude." Lily and her wizard mentor have been tasked with protecting an ancient clay tablet on display at a local museum when it's rumored that someone plans to steal it. The rumor comes true when a hired witch summons a greater demon to break through the wizards' protective wards. Luckily, a mysterious Someone has forged a link between Lily and her protective cat, Sir Kipling, and plugged both of them into a supply of power beyond anything she's been prepared to understand.

The interlude finds Sebastian doing some witchy detective work to find out who hired the witch who attempted the museum heist. Unfortunately, Lily isn't ready to hear him when he tells her that he thinks it's the wizard they encountered back in Book 1, who has extended an invitation to learn more about where she (and they) come from. She's so tempted by the possibilities of what she may learn that she won't even listen to her cat's advice, and hares off to the stately home of John Faust LeFay – a name that ought to set off alarm bells in any scholarly mind. Of course he turns out to be the father she hardly remembers, whose very name her mother always refused to speak. Of course he and his social-climbing mother, Ursula, have plans for Lily's future representing a level of control she isn't keen on submitting to. Of course John turns out to be a monster, and falling into his clutches may be a mistake Lily won't be able to unmake. Not without help, at least.

Once again, this adventure points up the dangers of power and the desire for it, of meddling in little-understood forces, of opening pathways to evil and of withholding information that may do good. Lily and Sebastian face some chilling adversaries in this book, and their odds of survival are never lower than when there are misunderstandings between them. Petty jealousies – her over a cute witch he dallies with, him over a handsome FBI agent who takes her on a date. The secrets and silences of Lily's mother and her mentor, who happens to be Sebastian's highly disapproving aunt, don't help. And of course, her hard-headedness becomes a danger of its own, when even her cat is talking sense at her and she won't listen. What it leads to is a threat that isn't resolved at the end of this book, but only postponed – a threat that hangs over not only Lily but the entire world of "mundanes," or unmagical muggles like you and me. It's a thought to make one shiver, and perhaps hasten to curl up with a cozy cup of tea and the third book in this series, Allies.

Besides about eight books in this series (plus novellas, short stories and whatnot), Lydia Sherrer is the Kentucky-based, cat-loving author of the novel Accidental Witch and the short story Ashes of Hope and co-author with John Ringo of the "TransDimensional Hunter" quartet.

554. Exhortation to Parents of the Baptized

Bring your babes to Christ, believers,
Nor withhold them from His face:
For they are the prime receivers
Of His sorely needed grace.

To be saved, dear sisters, brothers,
We must be just such as they:
Helpless, needy, nursed on others
Hour by hour and day by day.

See! Our sin, a death-shroud weaving,
Threads its way back to the womb;
While baptism, to Jesus cleaving,
Plaits new life upon our loom.

In Christ's tomb your child is resting;
Death becomes a holy sleep,
And Christ's Easter life comes, wresting
Them from hell and Satan's keep.

Now you have your dear child given
Unto God, His own to be,
Heir with Christ of earth and heaven,
From sin's sovereignty set free.

You receive them back as stewards,
Henceforth only yours in trust.
Nurse them therefore on His true words
And return a yield robust.

Oh, take care! Be wise and humble,
Guiding them upon their way.
Woe if any make them stumble,
Leading Jesus' lambs astray!

Oh, take care! The way is narrow
Where their steps the Lord would train;
Satan meanwhile nocks his arrow,
Menacing with might and main.

Watch and pray with love unsparing,
Parents of the Lord's baptized,
Every hour and day preparing
To commend them back to Christ:

Arming them from love of sinning,
Nurturing them on His word,
Their baptism but beginning
Life eternal with the Lord.

Tune: FREUEN WIR UNS ALL IN EIN, Michael Weisse, †1534. It was a tune for "Hark! A thrilling voice is sounding" in Lutheran Book of Worship and Lutheran Worship. Art: Baptismal font in the Co-Cathedral of the Sacred Heart in Houston, Texas, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.

553. Hymn for Help in Spiritual Battle

The tune I have in mind for this hymn is OLD 124TH – not the "abbr." version that we Lutherans often pair with the hymn "Draw near and take the body of the Lord," but the original, unexpurgated version with five melodic phrases; see Service Book & Hymnal 348 ("Turn back, O man, forswear thy foolish ways") and 601 ("Praise ye the Lord, ye servants of the Lord") and Lutheran Book of Worship 376 ("Your kingdom come! O Father, hear our prayer").

Send help, O Lord! Lend me Your angel guard!
Dark are the days; the battle presses hard.
See what weak knees, what furrowed brow and pale
I bring to bear; what lies in me must fail,
My camp encircled and my forces frail.

Guard, Lord, my mind, so often led astray
With thoughts that reason's harlotry betray!
For what seems right unto my mortal eye
So often Your clear precept would deny—
Yet Your word lives, gives life, and cannot lie.

Guard, Lord, my heart, that with the world conspires
To see me seared by vain and rash desires!
Lest in this life and after I should burn,
Take out this cold, dead stone, that in return,
For that which pleases You I warmly yearn.

Guard, Lord, my feet that feel Your way's sharp stones;
My hands, against which earth its thistle hones;
My eyes, grown weak from watching in this night;
My ears from voices rather loud than right;
My tongue from telling tales against Your light.

Send holy angels, Lord, to guard with speed
From unseen foes more numerous indeed,
More deadly than my mind and sense perceive!
Oh, help my unbelief! Let me believe
That of Your strength, O Christ, I may receive!

552. SS. Simon & Jude

The feast of Saints Simon and Jude is Oct. 28, with readings from Jeremiah 26:1-16, 1 Peter 1:3-9 and John 15:12-21 (verses 12-16 optional). As characters in the Bible, they're good candidates for being relegated to half a saint's day each. Scipture doesn't say much about them.

Luke twice calls Simon Zēlōtēs or "the zealot" (Luke 6 and Acts 1). Matthew 10 and Mark 3 instead use the term Kananitēs, which the King James Bible mistranslates as "Canaanite" (which is a completely unrelated word, Hananaios, in Greek). The New King James Version corrects this to Cananite (with one less a), meaning he's from the town of Cana in Galilee. Other translations vary betwee Canaanite, Canaanean and "the zealot." However, Liddell & Scott say Kananitēs is the Syriac equivalent of the Greek Zēlōtēs (there's a related Hebrew word), so apparently "zealot" is correct. As for Zēlōtēs, they give "a rival, zealous imitator" as the first definition, and "a zealot" as the second. So either he's a famously zealous disciple of Christ, or a member of a certain political party known as the Zealots (possibly an anachronism), or just a local guy and that's what Scripture remembers about him. Scholarly opinions vary. Also, some say he may have been Simon the brother of Jesus (it would be odd if the gospels never mentioned this), or perhaps Simon of Jerusalem, the bishop who succeeded James. The only Simons he obviously isn't are Simon Peter, Simon the Pharisee (Luke 7) and Simon the sorcerer (Acts 9).

Then there's the matter of Jude, which is even more confusing. The apostle celebrated here is clearly not Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus and suicided. He is probably the "Judas, not Iscariot," mentioned as one of the 12 during Jesus' valedictory sermon in John 14, who actually gets a line: "Lord, how is it that You will manifest Yourself to us, and not to the world?" (Jesus' answer: "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.") Also, Luke (in Luke 6 and Acts 1) enumerates a "Judas the son of James," in addition to Judas Iscariot (the son of Simon), in his lists of the apostles. Instead of Jude or Judas, the apostolic list in Mark 3 mentions a Thaddaeus, and Matthew 10 inserts a Lebbaeus whose surname is Thaddaeus (shortened to just Thaddaeus in the Alexandrian textual tradition), so an obvious hypothesis is that the Jude celebrated in this feast is also known as (Lebbaeus) Thaddeus. Also, he could be the Judas, or Jude, listed as one of Jesus' brothers along with James, Joses and Simon in Matthew 13 and Mark 6, and the author of the epistle of Jude who styles himself the brother (not son) of James.

There are various traditions about what these apostles did after the Pentecost of Acts 2 and how, where and when they were martyred, but let's stay out of the weeds and get right to the hymn – the last in this planned series of "Heroes of the Faith" hymns. I do have a tune in mind this time: the Swedish melody GAA NU HEN OG GRAV MIN GRAV. ART: SS. Simon and Jude, detail from the 14th-century Santa Croce altarpiece by Ugolino di Nerio, public domain.

Blest are they whom men revile;
So the world despised their Master.
Lord, Your church, this little while,
Pines for a prophetic pastor
Who, in season wet or dry,
Pours Your counsel from on high.

Send, Lord, send them to reprove
When on error's road we stumble,
Rising early, lest You move
All our vanities to humble!
May we hear their voice! For why
Shall we curse Your name and die?

Having warned, let them convey
Your abundant, free forgiveness!
Bend our stiff necks to obey,
Lord, their cross-imprinted witness!
Let their zeal on us impress
Your desire to heal and bless!

Send a Simon or a Jude,
Though we might prefer a Peter
As our fleshly aims intrude
And o'er pride's abyss we teeter.
An imperishable prize
Set before our fickle eyes!

Send to us, and through us call,
Men to lead Your dearly boughten
To the joy reserved for all
Whom You have again begotten
Since You raised up Christ, our Head,
As the Firstborn from the dead.

551. St. James of Jerusalem

This is the third St. James on the Lutheran Service Book's calendar of Feasts and Festivals, scheduled for Oct. 23 with lessons from Acts 15:12-22a (just love that "a"), James 1:1-12 and Matthew 13:54-58. Yes, this is the James who wrote the Epistle of James, and while various Bible interpreters are not in full agreement on this, our saints' days calendar seems to support the notion that James the Less (a.k.a. James the son of Alphaeus) and James the Great (a.k.a. James the son of Zebedee) are distinct invidividuals from this James, whom Paul calls "the Lord's brother" in Galatians 1. A James is also listed along with Joses (or Joseph), Simon and Judas as brothers of Jesus in Matthew 13 and Mark 6. Jude, author of the epistle by that name, identifies himself as the "brother of James."

Without naming James in particular, John 2 tells us Jesus' mother and brothers traveled with Him and His disciples from Cana to Capernaum. (I've often wondered whether the wedding at Cana was a family affair.) Matthew 12, Mark 3 and Luke 8 all describe a scene in which Jesus' mother and brothers ask to see Him. Matthew 13 and Mark 6 both relate an occasion when the people of Nazareth rejected Jesus' teaching because they knew his parents, brothers and sisters. John 7 tells us that at that point, Jesus' brothers did not believe in Him. However, by Acts 1, Jesus' brothers and His mother are among the disciples united in prayer and supplication after Jesus' ascension into heaven.

I think James the Lord's brother is the James to whom the angel sent Peter after springing him from prison ("Go and tell these things to James and the brethren," Acts 12:17 – 15 verses after James the brother of John was reported as killed). This was the James who pronounced the opinion of the Jerusalem council in Acts 15 in response to Peter's appeal for Gentile Christians. This James is the one named as chief among the elders, to whom Paul reported about his ministry in Acts 21. James is here shown exerting authority over Paul and being deeply engaged with the concerns of Jewish Christians.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15 that Jesus, after His resurrection, appeared to James, and I think that's a reference to this James. In Galatians 1, Paul also reports meeting with James shortly after his conversion; while this was still in James-the-brother-of-John's lifetime, the way he's singled out suggests to me that he's this other James. In Galatians 2, Paul describes "James, Cephas (i.e. Peter) and John" as pillars of the church in a way that suggests that James (not John's brother, who would be dead before the scene here described) had priority over the other two. Writing of himself, James only describes himself as "a bondservant of Jesus Christ."

Early Christian writers give this James the sobriquet "the Just" and claim he was the first bishop of Jerusalem. Eusebius notes that the hero trio of Peter, James and John submitted to this James rather than contend for primacy, seemingly taking to heart Jesus' admonition against jockeying for headship. Another surname for him is Adelphotheos, or "brother of God" – cf. the Byzantine Liturgy of St. James. As I've mentioned before, my speculation on this (and while I'm not alone on it, that's what it is) makes James, Jude and the others Jesus' half-siblings on Joseph's side, i.e. from a wife before Mary. Without proof either way, it's as likely as the notion that Mary had more babies after Jesus but with the advantage that it's consistent with many pious Christians' belief that Mary was "ever virgin." And also, it explains the whole "woman, behold your son" thing at the foot of Jesus' cross (John 19): since, if she had four sons of her own besides Jesus, Mary would have no need for John to provide for her.

So far, my introductory yak about the hymn below, which after all, and like most of these "Heroes of the Faith" hymns, is more textual than topical. Still, it doesn't hurt to set the atmosphere and spotlight some potential themes. And now, for the next-to-last hymn in this section. ART: A Russian icon of James the Just, public domain.

Count it as joy, dear brethren, when your faith is tried;
For we know by such testing patience is supplied,
And when its work is finished, you will be complete;
Your God will freely furnish all that you entreat.

Ask what you will, believing, and in no wise doubt,
Lest like the storm-blown breakers you be tossed about.
Exult not in your riches but in lowliness;
Endure temptation, and the crown of life possess.

Now in Christ's holy body God has made you one,
Blood kin and co-heirs with His dear, incarnate Son;
And whether Jew or Gentile, as His brother said,
You live in Him, both slain and risen from the dead.

Live, therefore, as befits the brethren of the Lord,
Though not by works or rituals are we restored:
Our only righteousness pours forth from Him who died,
The glory His whereby we shall be glorified.

550. St. Luke

The feast of St. Luke the evangelist is Oct. 18, and the readings for it are Isaiah 35:5-8, 2 Timothy 4:5-18 and Luke 10:1-9.

The Luke of whom we speak is the author of both the third gospel and the Acts of the Apostles. A companion of Paul, he speaks of himself in the first person in the opening paragraphs of both books, and includes himself in the story as part of "we" in certain passages of Acts. Paul mentions him by name three times, describing him as "the beloved physician" in Colossians 4 and as a fellow laborer in Philemon, and reporting that he alone stayed with Paul during his imprisonment in 2 Timothy 4. Two of those mentions occur within a sentence or so of a mention of Mark, suggesting a close connection between the two evangelists.

Luke apparently addressed his writings to a patron named Theophilus and he wrote in an elegant, well educated style of Greek. Early church authorities held (or at least guessed) that Luke was one of the 70 evangelists Jesus sent out in Luke 10, and possibly the "brother" whom Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 8 as being commissioned to travel with Titus. Whether he was a Gentile Christian or a Hellenistic Jew has been debated; Paul seems to exclude him from the list of Jews among his coworkers in Colossians 4. Rumor has it that he died at age 84, either by hanging or of natural causes, in or around Thebes.

In my introduction to the St. Matthew hymn, I mentioned some things that Matthew gives us in distinction from the other evangelists. Luke gives us a lot of important stuff, too. He describes the conception and birth of John the Baptist, the angelic annunciation of Jesus' conception to the virgin Mary, her visitation to John's mother Elizabeth, the songs of Mary (Magnificat), Zacharias (Benedictus) and Simeon (Nunc dimittis), the best known version of the birth of Jesus (with shepherds, angels and the Gloria in excelsis), some stories about the childhood of Jesus, and a genealogy that runs from Jesus (via Mary, I would argue) all the way back to Adam. In contrast to the structure of Matthew's genealogy from Abraham through Joseph to Jesus, Luke's purpose seems to be portraying Jesus as the Son of God in relation to all of mankind.

Luke shares a lot of material with both Matthew and Mark (not for nothing are they called synoptics), but he also gives us a goodly share of unique material. Parables of Jesus found exclusively in Luke include the two debtors (chapter 7), the good Samaritan (10), the rich fool (12), the lost coin and the prodigal son (15), the crooked steward (16), the rich man and Lazarus (also 16, if indeed it's a parable), the Pharisee and the tax collector (18) and the minas (19). Miracles only found in Luke include the great catch of fish (chapter 5), raising the widow's son (7), cleansing 10 lepers (17) and restoring the severed ear of the high priest's servant (22), along with some notable healings. Only Luke portrays Jesus' encounter with "wee little man" Zacchaeus and His weeping over Jerusalem (19), and several of his "seven words on the cross" (23). Luke is the only evangelist who details the resurrected Jesus' appearance to the two Emmaus disciples (24). And of course everything we know about the first spread of the gospel after Jesus' ascension into heaven comes from Luke, with some support from Paul's epistles. So, while not much of a character in the New Testament's dramaturgy, Luke is a significant source of information as well as liturgical lyrics and fodder for meditation.

Lord, bless Your church with watchful eyes
And voices sure
To teach, yea, to evangelize
And still endure
Though as drink-offerings they are poured,
That in our midst, in deed and word,
Christ may be praised with one accord
And reverence pure.

Take from our eyes the scales that blind;
Unstop our ears!
Let heavy tongues Your lightness find
And join the spheres
To swell the glory of Your name,
Your justifying grace proclaim,
Unclean no more, no longer lame—
We pray through tears!

When all men have forsaken us,
Stand with us, Lord.
When trials have overtaken us,
Your strength afford
So that Your message may resound,
Till from the nations all around
A fruitful harvest may redound
Upon Your word.

And when at last our struggles close,
Remind us, Lord,
Who once a dear physician chose
To pen Your word,
That You still heal the heart that faints,
Still hear our querulous complaints,
And evermore by all the saints
Shall be adored.

ART: Holy Evangelist Luke, Russian Orthodox icon, 18th century, tempera on wood, public domain. Note the winged bull, a symbol of Luke.

Goat

I'm not sure whether this movie's title is Goat, as in "its main character is an anthropomorphic goat," or GOAT, as in "Greatest Of All Time." The movie plays with this equivocation quite a bit. Apparently based (loosely, I'm sure) on the story of basketball star Steph Curry, it tells the story of a small goat named Will from the mean streets of Vineland who has dreamed since childhood of playing professional roarball, which is kind of an extreme sports version of basketball. Ordinarily, he would have no chance. Fortunately for him, the Vineland Thorns have a cheapskate owner who doesn't really care if her team wins or loses, headlined by a panther named Jett who habitually hogs the ball, plays like the rest of her team isn't there, and is determined to win a Claw (the league championship) before age and injury end her career. Ultimately, Will owes the fact that he makes the hometown team to a viral video of him playing one-on-one with a tough, stallion pro named Mane. Signal a season of roarball action featuring quirky characters of varying species, gradually coming together as a real team and giving both Jett and Will a real shot at sports immortality.

The basketball, um, I mean roarball, scenes are fun, to be sure. But the heart of the movie is grounded in Will's persistent pursuit of his seemingly impossible dream, which ties into his tireless campaign of chipping through the armor Jett has built up around herself and injecting spirit into a team that has all but given up on themselves. A major audio-visual theme that contributes a lot to the texture of this movie is its hyperawareness of sports media and social media, like a mash-up of ESPN and Animal Planet where everybody has their phone out and is live-streaming footage for later editing as Instagram reels. It's glitzy and frenetic and loud, with color commentators putting in their bit, dramatizing the team's buildup to their big shot at the Claw and the final showdown with Mane and his team of bigger, badder animal jocks.

I'm not much of a sports watcher, but I am always up for a sports movie. They usually hit the target, from a storytelling and emotional standpoint, and this Sony Animation Studios picture is no exception – though the "glitzy and frenetic and loud" pushed the limits of what my nerves could absorb. I am also, don't forget, a guy who could never be persuaded to see a "Fast and Furious" movie after the first one gave me a splitting headache. The laughs, the characters and relationships, the emotional rewards of the story kept my butt in the seat where a movie that failed to deliver on these points might have seen me walk out before the end. So, kudos for that.

Scanning through the cast for actors whose names mean anything to me, I see Gabrielle Union (Bring It On) played Jett. David Harbour (Stranger Things; 2019's Hellboy) voiced Archie the rhino. Frequent voice actor Nick Kroll (Sing, Captain Underpants, etc.) plays Modo, the bizarre Komodo dragon. Steph Curry himself voiced Lenny the giraffe. Playing the team's warthog owner, Flo, is Jenifer Lewis, who also voiced a character named Flo in the Cars movies. Wayne Knight of "Hello, Newman" fame (cf. Seinfeld) plays Frank, Will's gerbil landlord. A bunch of pro basketball players, male and female, also show up in the cast list. And Patton Oswalt puts in the role of Coach Dennis, a monkey with a huge schnoz.

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) Upon learning that Flo has hired a goat to be the team's sixth player, Jett threatens to eat Will – a threat he takes seriously. It's a reminder that in a version of the present-day world filled with anthropmorphic animals, there's a limit to how anthropically they morphize. On a similarly diet-related note, whenever Will feels peckish, he takes a bite out of a tin can – even provoking Jett to remind him that there's food inside the can. (2) Just about any scene featuring Frank and his ridiculously numerous offspring. The poor guy is stressed by having so many mouths to feed, and yet at the outcome of the Thorns' drive to compete for the Crown, he declares that he feels like having another dozen kids! (3) The fallout when Jett, sensing that her dream of winning a Claw may be about to slip out of her grasp, suddenly loses the faith she has started to have toward her team – basically the final crisis of the story, apart from the championship-level gameplay.

549. St. Michael & All Angels

I somehow don't seem to have written a hymn for the feast of St. Michael and All Angels, Sept. 29. The readings are a doozy: Daniel 10:10-14 and 12:1-3, Revelation 12:7-12 and either Matthew 18:1-11 or Luke 10:17-20. I think the angle Lutherans generally take regarding this feast, if they observe it at all, is to focus on the idea that, thank God, He sets angels to watch over us. We don't go very deep into the subject of Michael as such, I think. And perhaps I haven't focused a hymn on it (though I did write an "Angels of the Lord" hymn) simply because some excellent hymns are already available to fill the scarce need. Well, I guess the time has come to check that assignment off.

A quick search for occurrences of the name Michael in Scripture finds mentions of several earthly, mortal persons, not the archangel, in Numbers, 1 and 2 Chronicles and Ezra. An angelic figure (possibly Gabriel; cf. Daniel 8-9 and Luke 1) speaks to Daniel about Michael in Daniel 10 and 12, describing him as "one of the chief princes" (10:13) and "your prince" (10:21), "the great prince who stands watch over the sons of your people." What the angel Gabriel calls a great or chief prince apparently translates, in Jude 9, as "the archangel" who contended against the devil over the body of Moses. Jude seems to know a lot of things that aren't public knowledge. In Revelation 12, John depicts a war in heaven in which Michael and his angels fought with the dragon and his angels.

Putting together what Gabriel, Jude and John tell us about Michael, his story seems to be that of a high-ranking warrior among the armies of (usually) invisible warriors who defend the faithful against the spiritual forces of evil, and of unseen battles fought behind the scenes of history that are more significant, from heaven's point of view, than any events and conflicts we know about. It brings to mind Psalm 34: "The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them." There are a number of accounts of angels acting in a martial manner, such as the one that threatened Balaam and his ass in Numbers 22, one that routed the Assyrians in 2 Kings 19, 2 Chronicles 32 and Isaiah 37, one that sprang Peter from prison and killed Herod in Acts 12. Especially, I find myself thinking about 2 Kings 6, when the Syrians besieged Elisha, and his servant be like, "What'll we do?" and Elisha prayed the Lord to open his eyes: "and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

So you see, the story of Michael and all angels is about the unseen forces, as important if not more important than what we do see, carrying out God's will and protetcing His people throughout history with a "charge over you" (Psalm 91), both on a mass scale (as with archangels like Michael) and on a personal level (cf. Matthew 18). ART: Public domain.

Know, beloved, You are cherished
By the Lord who lives on high.
Scarce a meadow's bloom has perished
Hidden from His watchful eye.
Tracing too the sparrow's fall,
Christ perceives your faintest call.

Know indeed that unseen spirits
Guard the chosen of His grace,
Loyal to the blood and merit
Of the Savior of our race;
Armed, they guard us fore and back,
Parrying the foe's attack.

Michael's captains stand their stations
Round those Jesus suffered for,
Though the geniuses of nations
Gird themselves for siege and war.
They hold in that hidden realm
Ground the foe would overwhelm.

Sense and reason may dissemble;
What is naught may pose as much.
Nonetheless, fret not nor tremble:
Christ is here, as close as touch,
And the guard you cannot see
Greater than your fears can be.

Lord, amid our world's upheaval,
Grant us eyes of faith to see
All You've done for our retrieval;
Fill us with such constancy
Till we, loosed from every harm,
Walk with angels arm in arm.

POSTSCRIPT: For what it's worth, this is my 550th original hymn—recalling, once again, that the numbering on this blog goes all the way down to zero. I hope someday to make it to at least 600, but I don't know how long that will take. I mean, I've already done four laps around the Church Year (one-year and three-year lectionaries), and this Heroes of the Faith section is drawing to a close in maybe three more hymns. So the momentum I've built up lately may not last. Suggestions? I'm open to them!

548. St. Matthew

Sept. 21 is the feast of St. Matthew, apostle and evangelist. Lessons for the day are from Ezekiel 2:9-3:11, Ephesians 4:7-16 and Matthew 9:9-13. Like many of the previous "Heroes of the Faith" in this current series of hymns, he is mentioned in all four lists of the 12 apostles (Mathew 10, Mark 3, Luke 6, Acts 1). Only Matthew himself specificies "Matthew the tax collector." Also, only Matthew names the tax collector Matthew whom Jesus calls to leave the tollbooth and follow him (Matthew 9), while the parallel accounts in Mark 2 and Luke 5 both name him Levi. They're clearly talking about the same guy, but the name change is never explained.

From Mark 5 we have the additional factoid about Mathew (Levi) that he is the son of Alphaeus, though none of the lists of the apostles pair him with James the son of Alphaeus. The only other biblical mention of Matthew is in the title at the top of his gospel: "According to Matthew." For a character with no spoken lines, he has a lot to say—28 chapters worth.

Matthew's gospel gives us a lot. His genealogy of Jesus (chapter 1) makes a legal argument that Jesus is the heir to the throne of David through Mary's husband Joseph. His account of Jesus' birth also focuses on Joseph, whose revelatory dreams suggest a typological connection with the Joseph of Genesis. Matthew uniquely gives us the Epiphany narrative (the visit of the Magi, chapter 2), which paints the Gentiles into the faith picture. Despite Mark and Luke's parallel accounts of Jesus' transfiguration, only Matthew gives us the exact words of the voice from the cloud ("This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased") that Peter quotes in his second epistle—which led one of my seminary profs to suggest that 2 Peter could be a preface to Matthew's gospel.

Matthew gives us several extended discourses by Jesus, including the full Sermon on the Mount (Luke's "sermon on the plain" is comparatively condensed) and several unique parables: the tares, the hidden treasure, the pearl of great price, the net full of fish, the unmerciful servant, the laborers in the vineyard, the wise and foolish virgins, the talents (Luke's parable of the minas is similar), the sheep and the goats. He gives us the version of the Beatitudes and the Lord's Prayer more widely used than Luke's. Along with John, Matthew gives us Jesus' words establishing the Office of the Keys (Matthew 16, 18; John 20) and commissioning His disciples to make disciples by baptizing and teaching (Matthew 28). In these and other passages, Matthew's account has been much in the church's ears, on the church's lips and worked out in the church's practices.

Up, idle tongue and pen,
From thieves' and merchants' den!
Tell what God's Son for all has done
To proud, rebellious men.
Where Jesus bids you go,
Rebuke and warn of woe:
Though they refuse to heed the news,
Speak what He bids them know.

Reveal the Savior's grace
To souls of every race:
He bears the due of such as you
And suffers in your place.
He calls unworthy souls
To part with nets and tolls,
Yea, to repent, with pardon sent
To serve His kingdom's goals.

Reveal His healing will
That those not well but ill—
Not Pharisees but sinners—He
Would with His fullness fill.
See, then, with Matthew's eyes,
A calling to baptize,
A word to preach, a world to reach,
A swiftly coming prize.

Up, feeble heart and hands!
Prepare in faithless lands
To toil and die, to edify
A house that firmly stands.
Knit by the truth in love,
Grow up toward Christ above,
Till every mind in Him shall find
A pure and precious trove.

ART: Detail from the Calling of St. Matthew by Vittore Carpaccio, 1502.

Beginnings

Love, Lies & Hocus Pocus: Beginnings
by Lydia Sherrer
Recommended Ages: 12+

I was ordering some books in the Once Upon a Tim series, so I could review them as a complete set, when I decided that I had to buy one more thing to qualify for free shipping. Impulse, combined with a cheap price and an agreeable-seeming synopsis, led me to choose this book to fill out the order. And then all the other books in my order arrived, but this one didn't. I tracked the shipment and found that it had allegedly reached a distribution center in my ZIP code, but had gone no further in the two weeks since. I opted to re-order it (at no extra charge) because I had lost any confidence that the delivery would ever happen. And eventually it did arrive. And then, the moment I opened the book, a page fell out – part of the table of contents ‐ and several other pages soon followed. So, before I had even formed an opinion of this book based on its storyline, characters and style, I felt a certain sense of grievance. I'm happy (to a certain degree of happiness) to report that my complaints about this book end there. Yes, the binding is of substandard quality. But the contents thus bound are quite enjoyable.

Lily is a wizard, and her friend Sebastian is a witch. This might strike fans of a certain boy wizard with a scar on his forehead (so described by Sebastian at one point in this book) as a reversal of gender roles, but gender has nothing to do with the distinction between wizard and witch, in Sherrer's world building. Witches do transactional magic, of the "something given, something gained" persuasion, dealing with spirits, fae creatures and (in some cases) demons – though Sebastian wisely stays away from that last lot. Wizards, meanwhile, have an inherited ability to tap into an impersonal Source of power, using runes and spells in an ancient language called Enkinim to focus their intent. Lily's day job is to manage the archives at the library of a Georgia women's college, and her afterwork career seems to revolve around extricating Sebastian – the ne'er-do-well nephew of her prim and proper wizard mentor – from whatever trouble he finds himself in.

This book isn't quite a novel. It's more like two novellas, held together by a connecting interlude. Episode 1 is "Hell Hath No Fury," in which Sebastian is hired to lay the ghost that is haunting a plantation-style mansion, making it unfit to live in and impossible to sell. Sebastian finds a ghost, all right, but he isn't the problem. The problem is a curse put on the man and his house by a jilted lover, who was apparently one of Lily's lot. So, he calls her in for an assist, and figuring out how the long-dead witch cast a spell that is still wreaking havoc proves to be almost as hard as breaking it. After that comes the interlude of "Chasing Rabbits," in which Sebastian goes after a junkie friend who robbed him of a magically significant heirloom, only to get caught up in a dangerous game with an Atlanta drug gang. And that leads right into Episode 2, "Möbius Strip," set in a small Georgia town that's locked in a time loop that becomes more dangerous each time it repeats because the magic powering it is fading fast, and if it fails completely, hundreds of people could become trapped between worlds. Figuring out who has Sebastian's artifact is only the first battle in a dangerous campaign to keep terrible power out of the wrong hands. And there, to avoid spoiling it too much, I'll leave you.

Syonpsis-wise, I mean. Review-wise, I want to say that Lily and Sebastian are an odd couple in the best sense – the kind whose patter is endlessly entertaining and whose development, as characters and a relationship, promises lots of fun yet to come. Lily is a bookish, cat hair covered, tea drinking stickler for proper behavior, while Sebastian has a rakish charm, an allergy to authority, and a knack for flying by the seat of his pants and somehow making it work. You'd think they wouldn't be able to stand each other, yet there's a tenderness between them that neither of them has looked straight in the eye. And despite the comedic tone that prevails overall, there's an undercurrent of tragedy that tugs at one's heart strings: the sense that with modern technology doing what it does, there isn't much need for their kind of talent anymore – a sense that both wizardry and witchcraft, for different reasons, are on their way out, even while those practicing both arts in the present feel cut off from their own history. Could they represent the twilight of magic? Or might they be the ones to stage a brilliant comeback? I guess I'll have to keep reading their story to find out.

This is the first book of a series of books whose titles all begin with "Love, Lies & Hocus Pocus," though the series itself is billed as "The Lily Singer Adventures." The other titles in the series end, respectively, with the words Revelations, Allies, Legends, Betrayal, Identity and Kindred, plus there are a couple separately published novellas titled A Study in Mischief and Cat Magic and a spinoff "Dark Roads Trilogy" about Sebastian's origin, with one book so far, titled Accidental Witch. And for what it's worth, I've already gone back to my online bookseller of choice and ordered Love, Lies & Hocus Pocus: Revelations – at least partly so I could qualify for free shipping on a DVD box set of Columbo.