Monday, July 14, 2008

Sell-Out Tackiness

The suspense has been killing St. Louis, but now it's over... and InBev can finish the job. The Belgian brewing conglomerate made the Busch family an offer they couldn't refuse, and today it was announced that the backbone of industry in our fair city has been sold. It is a historic moment for a company whose stock, until today, was still controlled by the family that founded it; for a country that has one less living symbol of pride in American enterprise to encourage it; and for an uneasy city where literally tens of thousands of people of every color of collar depend on Anheuser Busch for a living.

And so, on this of all days, we could count on the ELCA "Temple of Tackiness" to offer us its absent-minded pat on the head and the following expression of benevolent senility:


That message will be a great comfort, I am sure, if ever beer loses its appeal. When colossal amounts of malt liquor can no longer drown our sorrows, what a blessing it will be to have God to fall back on. "Opiate of the people" my eye! If InBev reneges on its promise to keep the AB corporate headquarters here, religion (such as the dear Missouri Synod, to say nothing of several seminaries and sectarian colleges) could become the biggest homegrown industry in town!

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