Monday, July 14, 2008


Uff da. I am so starved for bloggage, after pretty much five days disconnected from the internet. Here's a little skit I composed in my head during the drive home today.
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: All right, class, let's do some vocab building! Mrs. Murphy was kind enough to leave a vocabulary list on the blackboard, so let's take it from the top. So... er... Timmy, is it?

FIRST BOY: Yes, ma'am.

TEACHER: Well, then, Timmy, why don't you read the word at the top of the list, and define it in your own words.

FIRST BOY (with difficulty): Asp... halt. Asp-halt: a place where a snake likes to sun itself.

TEACHER: That's a very... interesting guess, Timmy. But incorrect. Perhaps, er, Tommy here could give you a hint. Tommy, can you use this word in a sentence?

SECOND BOY: Yes, ma'am. As-phalt, as in: If you don't like the way your driveway is paved, it's your own...

TEACHER: Okey-dokey! Thank you, Tommy. So, Timmy, can you guess what "asphalt" means now?

FIRST BOY: Yes, ma'am. You see, my uncle is a harbor cop, and last weekend he fished out a dead body that had been dipped in asphalt.

TEACHER (shocked): That's awful, Timmy! Did they find out whose body it was?

FIRST BOY: Sure thing. The real mystery is whose asphalt it was!
Never let it be said that an hour-long commute is a complete waste of time!

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