Here's a musical spoof/tribute to J. K. Rowling, in honor of the upcoming release of the seventh and last Harry Potter book. Apologies to all and sundry. Consider it a mercy that I ran out of steam after verse 4.
In the first book of Harry, Ms. Rowling gave to us
Three heads of Fluffy,
Two faces of Quirrell,
And a chess set as big as a bus!
In the second book of Harry, Ms. Rowling gave to us
A five-decade horror,
A four-passenger phoenix,
Three mugs of polyjuice,
Too many slugs,
And a spider as big as a bus!
In the third book of Harry, Ms. Rowling gave to us
Seven secret passageways,
Six brass bedsteads (guess where),
Five electives for Hermione,
Four obnoxious Dursleys,
Three unregistered animagi,
Two chances to save Sirius,
And a ride on the Kni-i-ight Bus!
In the fourth book of Harry, Ms. Rowling gave to us
Nine feet of woman (give or take),
Eight students in the lake,
Seven locks on a trunk,
Six legs on Rita,
Five shadows of Voldemort’s victims,
Four Triwizard champions,
Three unforgivable curses,
Two Mad-Eye Moodys,
And a baby ugly enough to stop a bus!