Friday, February 13, 2009

Blog Milestone

It's time to celebrate two milestones for this blog! First, as of today, A Fort Made of Books will be two years old. Second, as of this post, it has reached the magic number of 1,000 posts for the first time.

I put it this way because there have been occasions when I deleted posts, and there may be more such occasions in the future. Plus, the day may come when I have to split this blog into two or three more topic-specific ones. But for now, let me bask in the feeling of accomplishment!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Coraline

Last night I weakened. I was trying to discipline myself not to run out and see every movie that caught my fancy, because times are tight. I reckoned if I made it through Monday night, I would be all right at least for a week. Since this is Verdi Week for the St. Louis Symphony Chorus, I won't have another open evening until next Monday. I almost made it - and then, with time enough to get to Ronnie's Wehrenberg Theatres before the last showing of Coraline, I weakened. I think it was the munchies that did me in. I also enjoyed a chocolate shake at the concession stand.

Coraline is an animated film based on the book by Neil Gaiman that I once declared to be the best book I had read all year. Several years have passed since then; several other books have had that honor; many, many other books have intervened; so I don't remember a lot of detail about Gaiman's book. But what I do remember seems to have been covered very nicely by Henry Selick's film adaptation.

Up front, I must say that it is a profoundly weird movie. It is also spookier than all get-out. After all, it comes from the same people who made The Nightmare Before Christmas. It has the same type of animation, the same flare for macabre humor, and the same rich palette of striking and unusual imagery. It isn't Disney. It doesn't flow like a predictable Disney story; its characters are not touched by Disney sweetness; and it takes creative risks for a kid's movie - risks that may cause some parents to squirm.

For example, take Mr. Bobinski who lives upstairs from Coraline Jones and her parents. He's eccentric, possibly crazy, and probably drunk. Then take the two elderly actresses who live downstairs; they have colossal boobs, a thing about winged dogs, a thing about sticky candy, and an icky tendency to flaunt their sexuality. And finally, take the Jones family, which isn't unusually happy. Coraline is lonely after moving away from her friends. She's a bit prickly toward her parents and the hangdog neighbor boy, Wybie. Maybe her parents deserve a bit of prickliness, because they are too busy writing about gardening to do any actual gardening - let alone pay attention to their daughter.

But Coraline goes above and beyond the call of prickliness when she decides to join her "other mother and father" in the magical world next door, entered via the small door under the living room wallpaper. Coraline makes a calculated, and frankly snotty, decision to let the button-eyed doubles of her parents lavish love and attention on her, rather than put up with reality. But when she realizes that the cost of her decision is having her own eyes replaced with buttons, Coraline starts looking for a way out. And that way turns out to be an increasingly suspenseful game of wits against the Beldam, a.k.a. Other Mother, who controls everything in her deceptive world. Everything in her world decays from fake, Disneylike splendor to chilling squalor as Coraline fights for her way back home.

My rough analysis of the structure of this movie holds that it's all about three spectacular settings, each of which you see in three different forms. You see Mr. Bobinsky's flat with its flying mouse circus, the Misses Spink and Forcible's haven of thespian vanity, and the house's elaborate garden with the paved paths. First you see each one as they exist in the real world. Then you see them in the Beldam's world, all spruced up to impress Coraline. And finally, you see what they have become as the illusions begin to fall apart - ghastly things. When you see this movie, your imagination will be rewarded with many brand-new dreams and nightmares.

Parental Guidance Advisory: There is some mild swearing in this movie. Coraline says "God!" a couple of times. Coraline's father cracks a butt joke. There are ghosts and things even scarier than ghosts in this film. You may find, however, that kids appreciate this movie for not going to any heroic lengths to be kid-friendly. It does what it does, which, as I have said before, is really weird. But it does it with stop-motion animation of the highest quality ever achieved todate. It does it with characters that have expressive faces, voiced with spirit and charm by the likes of Dakota Fanning and Teri Hatcher, Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French, Keith David and Ian McShane.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Three Book Reviews

Dandelion Fire
by N. D. Wilson
Recommended Ages: 12+

Book 2 of the 100 Cupboards unleashes another storm of breathtaking energy. In Book 1, a Kansas farm became the doorway to one of the most fascinating new fantasy worlds grown on American soil since Oz, a complex and threatening world that seems to exist to test the courage of a lonely, self-doubting misfit named Henry York. In the sequel, Henry and his Kansas cousins, aunt, uncle, best friend, and even the local sheriff get pulled right into this world during the build-up to a battle that may end it all.

They face terrifying enemies, confront mortal danger, and stumble bewildered from one strange encounter to another while they learn the lay of the land and the ways of its magic. And Henry continues his amazing transformation from the boy who was afraid of everything to the one who smiles when his cousin tells him, "Now you're scary." So it's more than just a heady fantasy filled with clever invention. It is a powerful, spiritually moving story about a young man finding his identity, his powers, his family, and his home - just in time to defend them from that which he fears the most.

It begins when Henry learns that his adoptive parents have been rescued from a South American hostage situation. Now they're splitting up and wrangling over who gets custody of him. He doesn't feel much closeness to the Yorks; he would rather stay in Henry, Kansas, with his Uncle Frank, Aunt Dotty, and three girl cousins, play baseball with Zeke Johnson, explore the 100 cupboards in his bedroom and the magical worlds they lead to, and perhaps find the place and people he originally came from. But Henry's plans take a backseat to the demands of the magic growing within him.

In one moment of awe and glory, Henry is blinded by a shaft of lightning and has the shape of a dandelion burnt into the palm of his hand. This is the beginning of a transformation that could kill him or drive him mad, or that could gift him with a powerful and healing magic. Before Henry's crisis awakens, an evil wizard named Darius snatches him from his Kansas bedroom, planning to enslave the boy and absorb his power. Darius, in turn, serves the witch Nimiane, who has just been freed from her imprisonment, and who could drain all the life out of the land Henry comes from - a land that may be destroyed before he gets to know it.

Stopping Nimiane and Darius will mean fleeing, hunted, from one end of the world to the other; joining forces with faeries whose governing council has sworn to betray Henry and his missing father; risking his own life and the lives of others to reach a besieged city before it falls beneath a storm of evil magic; and finally being named with his own name so that he can stand against the enemy with full command of the power hidden within him.

I gasped at the emotional impact of Frank Fat-Faerie's final instructions to Henry, from "You get into the city" to "Write my name on a bit of stone." Knowing that Nate Wilson also writes for something cryptically described as a "trinitarian journal," I was also bowled over by his description of the christening ritual, which includes the words "The true Gods shall be the God before him" - a statement that begs for theological analysis that, alas, I cannot give it in this space. I took great pleasure in seeing the shape of Henry's homeworld come gradually into focus, for him as well as myself, and in recognizing the deep roots of classic story beneath the green and gold profusion of this tale.

It is old and new at the same time. It is a thrilling adventure with a spiritual journey at its heart. It is touched with a gift for vivid and original words, words that richly paint scenes never seen before. And though the ending is as satisfying as anyone could desire, it leaves you wishing for more. So you'll be encouraged to know that the series isn't finished yet. A third book, The Chestnut King, is still to come.

Touching Darkness
by Scott Westerfeld
Recommended Ages: 14+

Book 2 of Midnighters picks up about a week after the ending of The Secret Hour. The five young "midnighters" of Bixby, Oklahoma, face a new danger now, a danger that stalks in daylight, rather than the frozen blue hour that opens up at midnight. They share that hour only with the ancient slithers and darklings of the empty plains, who cannot come out during normal time. So whoever is plotting to destroy Jessica Day and her superpowered friends, they have to be human. Humans working for the darklings, communicating with them who-knows-how.

Jessica, Rex, Melissa, Dess, and Jonathan have enough going on between them to stay busy. Romance, jealousy, suspicion, dreadful secrets, and family tensions are constantly pulling them apart. Now someone is manipulating them from outside, someone other than the bad guys. When Dess meets that certain someone, she ends up with a bizarre mental block protecting a fifty-year-old pocket of guilt, fear, and loneliness. Meanwhile, the darklings and their allies have ghastly plans for one of the young midnighters. And just when they need to pull together to save one of their own before it's too late, the conflict simmering between them boils over.

Is this a great fantasy for young readers? Definitely. Will it have long-lasting significance? Yes and no. For along with a spectacularly spooky and original fantasy world, this trilogy traps a moment - this moment, right now - in clear crystal. Today's technology, the social jungle of a small-town American high school, the way teens talk to each other and their families, are all captured in a way that a future generation may be interested in studying... but that, more likely, will start to seem outdated pretty soon. So enjoy it while you can.

Blue Noon
by Scott Westerfeld
Recommended Ages: 14+

The final book of the Midnighters trilogy confronts five teenage heroes with a danger their kind has never faced before. By "their kind," I mean those special people, born at the stroke of midnight, who experience the twenty-fifth hour of every day: the hour hidden within a moment at midnight. While everyone else stands frozen, unaware that time is passing, five high school kids in Bixby, Oklahoma move through a world filled with an eerie blue glow, shared only by the ancient, hungry darklings that dwell beyond the town limits. The darklings are trouble enough one hour a day; but when rips of blue time start opening up during daylight hours, Jessica and her friends must consider the possibility that the World Is Coming to an End.

Rex, the group's seer, can find nothing about this in the lore of past generations of midnighters. But he has other troubles - such as controlling the predatory instincts of the darkling that has become a part of him. Melissa, gifted as a mindcaster, plumbs the mind of the reclusive old shrew who alone survived when the town's last midnighters were wiped out in the 1950s; but she has nothing to say about this either. To find out what's happening, the midnighters must turn to the hated Grayfoot family, who collaborated with the darklings in that awful massacre, and who believe the midnighters to be the true monsters.

What they find out is worse than confirming their worst fears. They learn that at midnight on the upcoming Halloween, the blue time will rip wide open and everyone in Bixby - if not the whole world - will be fair game for the darklings. Which is to say, prey. If there is a way to keep mankind from moving down the food chain, it's up to five scared teenagers who, at times, can barely stand each other. It will depend on Dess, the math genius and expert in designing anti-darkling weapons; on Jonathan, the high-flying acrobat; and finally on Jessica, the nightmares' worst nightmare, who will be torn between saving her kid sister and making the ultimate leap-in-the-dark to save the world.

I found this whole trilogy to be a swift, compelling read. I am greatly impressed by this author's inventiveness in crafting such a strange, threatening world, and by his skill in making it believable and even somehow inviting. It is a world that combines a sense of ancient power with an easy familiarity with the way young people talk, and the things they talk about, right at this moment. I would like to hope such a cleverly made book might stretch this moment out forever, but I suspect that the time to appreciate it is right now. So what are you waiting for?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Joy Luck

Today, I decided to use up the last of my first set of discounted gift certificates from Restaurant-Dot-Com, which I had purchased last June. I had gotten mostly good deals from them, but the last eatery on my dance card was a bit out of the way for me. Only I had business in the neighborhood today, so I planned ahead and brought my gift certificate with me. Unfortunately, the restaurant in question - Cafe Brasil in Rock Hill, Missouri (at the corner of Manchester Road where Rock Hill Road turns into McKnight Road) had closed its doors for good.

I decided to cope with my disgust by stopping to eat at the first promising place I noticed on the way home. And the winning restaurant turned out to be the Joy Luck Buffet on Manchester, just west of Hanley Road. Now, I have frequently felt let down after eating at affordable Chinese buffets. And when I haven't felt let down, I have tended to feel overcharged. Joy Luck was the rare Chinese buffet that left me feeling more than satisfied and less than ripped off.

So here I am to tell you that I just discovered your favorite Chinese restaurant today. Only you probably don't know it yet. Wait till you visit Joy Luck for lunch! Its huge buffet has a huge variety of dishes. The food is better-than-average-quality Chinese-American cuisine, some of it spicy, all of it (as far as I could tell) quite palatable. The dining area is pleasant and clean, and the price tag for one all-you-can-eat meal was $7 plus change. No, that isn't a typo. In my neighborhood there is a Chinese buffet of comparable quality where you can pay $13 for the same meal, and the only things it has over Joy Luck are fruit cobbler and a Mongolian grill.

OK, the lack of fruit cobbler is a blow, but I can live without the optional Mongolian grill. On the other hand, all the other usual suspects are present and accounted for. Eggrolls (seafood and plain). Crab Rangoon. Yummy pot-stickers. Plain and combination fried rice. Soup (egg drop and hot & sour, at least). Chicken dishes galore: with mushrooms, with cashews, with lemon sauce, Szechuan, General Tso, Kung Pao, sweet & sour, egg foo young - the list goes on. Crispy roast pork. Spicy beef. Honestly, I didn't have room in my hungry belly to try half of what they had on offer, and nothing that I tasted was below-average. None of it was a culinary revelation, either; but we're talking about a lunch buffet here. A $7 lunch buffet that ran tastebud circles around some pricier places I've tried.

I probably won't be in the Joy Luck neighborhood very often; I can't comfortably eat enough to make all-you-can-eat seem worth $13; so I doubt that Chinese buffet will be a major food group for me. I'm more than content with the short-order Chinese places close to home. But if you're passing through the Brentwood or Maplewood area, make an effort to stop at Joy Luck and fill up both legs for the price of one. Tell them a satisfied customer sent you.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Everlasting Tackiness

Spotted today on the lighted sign of the ELCA church down the street:

IN TIME, BOTH SNOW AND ANGER MELT

Wow. I am overwhelmed by the possibilities... of snappy come-backs, that is.

Mark 1: IN TIME, BOTH SNOW AND ANGER MELT ...BUT YOU CAN ONLY WRITE YOUR NAME IN URINE ON ONE OF THEM

Mark 2: IN TIME, BOTH SNOW AND ANGER MELT ...BUT WE'LL BE SHOVELING THIS CRAP FOREVER

Mark 3: IN TIME, BOTH SNOW AND ANGER MELT ...SO ENJOY THEM WHILE THEY LAST!

Tackiness: the gift that keeps on giving! Share your ideas of how to complete this thought in the Comments!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Another Invention Whose Time Has Come

I'm sure that I have mentioned before, somewhere in this thread, that our telephone system is stupid. Say you live in a small metropolitan area that has four area codes in it. You dial a 10-digit phone number in one of those area codes, not knowing whether or not it's a local call. If it is local, you're not supposed to dial 1 first; if it isn't, you are. So either way, you have a 50:50 chance of having your eardrums blasted by a series of surgically pure musical tones, followed by a recorded voice telling you to hang up and dial again, with or without the 1 prefix as the case may be. Given a series of unfamiliar phone numbers to call during a single morning, you run the risk of suffering significant hearing loss.

It's a stupid system, because it's so gosh-darned smart... but only up to a certain point. It's smart enough to know whether the number requires a 1 prefix from where you're dialing. But it's not smart enough to understand what you mean and simply connect you, whether you're calling long-distance or not. The programming and circuitry can tell the difference between a local number and a trunk call, even within the same area code; but it still needs you to start over and press 1 (or not) to understand your intentions.

I can't believe nobody has written software, or designed circuitry, to do this after all this time. I think the time has come. There is no excuse for this stupidity. I don't care if your local phone service provider is different from your long-distance provider. If the long distance folks can tell the call belongs in the local system, or vice versa, they should simply route it where it belongs & not require us to know in advance which numbers are & aren't covered by the metro plan. It's common sense. Maybe, if this ever happens, I could get paid for the idea!

Well, all that is just to say what I've said before. I've come up with another one like it. Rechargeable batteries are another piece of modern technology that are so brilliant they're stupid. I have a rechargeable cell phone and a rechargeable shaver. Both of them have the type of battery that should only be plugged in when it really needs to be recharged. In both cases, if you don't unplug them promptly when the battery is full, you risk shortening the life of the battery.

The problem: Who has time to sit and watch a small appliance recharge? Realistically, you plug it in and leave the room to do something else. You go to bed. You go to work. You stretch out in a comfortable chair to read or watch TV. You forget to hop up every five minutes to look at the display on the phone, or the colored lights on the shaver, to see whether "battery full" is indicated. It might even be plugged in for hours longer than necessary. And that's bad for business. But so is the idea of having to hover over the recharger for 30 to 90 minutes.

What can be done to solve this? It's so blindingly obvious that only a fat stupid jerk can spot it. And so I'll expect royalties when someone starts selling it. I mean, if your gizmo has the programming or circuitry to tell you to unplug it or else, you shouldn't have to unplug it at all. How hard would it be to add a few lines of programming, or a couple of microscopic switches, so the poor thing will stop recharging by itself?

I see a potential "second problem" here. Suppose you program your shaver to stop recharging as soon as the battery is full, whether it remains plugged in or not. Now the danger is that you'll leave it on the charger all the time. After each use, which only drains the battery a tiny bit, it will start charging again - to the detriment of the battery's lifespan. Or your phone, always plugged in and turned on, will intermittently start charging again - even if you never use it - simply because the energy it expends staying on drains the battery (to say nothing of its LCD clock display). Even if you only leave it plugged in a few hours past the "battery full" mark, it might have to start charging again.

So, here's the second part of my brilliant solution: Fix the program so that it stops charging at "battery full," and does not start recharging again unless you unplug it and plug it back in. How do you like that! I may not be any thinner (or any less of a jerk), but I must be getting smarter!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Puzzling Tackiness

Alas, the Destroying Angel of Taste has struck my own LCMS church in the city of St. Louis. Here's what our lighted sign now says:

CROSS WORDS BELONG IN PUZZLES

Speaking of puzzles... It took me a few beats to figure out what this slogan was supposed to mean. The relevant meaning of the word "cross" wasn't the first or even the second meaning that came to mind; I mean, consider the context - outside a church! When you parse the sentence on a literal level, it doesn't quite make sense anyway. Crosswords aren't in puzzles; they are puzzles. Oh, well. To err is human, to be tacky is Lutheran!