Sicktorious Tackiness

"Tackiness on Holy Ground" has struck at my home church. I don't know how I missed the church sign when I drove past it on the way to and from services on Sunday morning. Or on my way to the church's "family fun night" later on. I didn't notice what the sign said until I was in the middle of a bocce game on the lawn and I had to walk right in front of it. And there it was, as tall as I, shouting out into the neighborhood:

ASPIRE TO INSPIRE BEFORE YOU EXPIRE

How very self-helpful! In fact, when I tried to find out where this phrase came from, I found a blog by a self-help guru who wrote a whole column about it...but she didn't make it up; she saw it on a church sign somewhere. I wonder if it was the sign at my church.

I hate to pick on people I know. Well, no, I don't. I hate to pick on people who know me, and who might be reading this blog, and who know where I live and have it in their power to grease the organ bench or pin the sleeves of my sport jacket together while it's draped over the back of my chair (which is pretty much all the time). But honestly, I can't help it. This "Aspire to inspire" slogan is just precious!

So precious, in fact, that it makes me want to puke.

Whatever it means - and it could mean so many different things that it probably doesn't mean anything - it doesn't have the "ring" of Gospel.