When Cats Dream

My cat Lionel is currently stretched out across the top of the TV set, taking a nap. It's one of his favorite places. That's nothing; Tyrone is probably in the linen closet, on a high shelf, nestled among towels or bed sheets. They're probably dreaming of "Chicken in the Wall" and clouds of herring drifting down from the ceiling (see images below).

I used to have to duct-tape bookends to the floor in front of my closet doors, when I had the accordion type of closet doors; otherwise the cats would open the closets by putting a paw under the door and pulling outward. But now, with the sliding kind, I haven't figured out a way to keep the cats out of the closets, short of taking the doors off the tracks (which also keeps me out).

Another of my cats' many remarkable achievements is getting into cupboards. This isn't a problem where I live now, because the cupboards have a catch on them. But in houses and apartments where the cupboard doors swung freely, the cats could and often did open them and get at what was inside...unless I used more duct tape. Thank God for duct tape! It also helped me keep light switches turned on or off, and to prop doors open so that, for example, the cats wouldn't trap themselves in the bathroom.

Once when my stepmother was visiting me, and the cats had made themselves scarce (my parents joked that they didn't believe in my cats), Stepmom had to use the bathroom and I had to rip the duct-tape/bookend combo off the floor so she could shut the bathroom door. Then I heard her asking where the TP was and I told her I keep it under the sink, to deter the cats from playing with it. A moment later I heard a shriek. Stepmom explained that when she had opened the cupboard under the sink, Lionel had darted out and startled her. Bless him.

IMAGES: Worth1000 has pages and pages of hilarious photoshopped images, including several featuring cats. I have used a couple of their fanciful cat-cute contest entries before. Check out more of them here.