The Song of the Quarkbeast

The Song of the Quarkbeast
by Jasper Fforde
Recommended Ages: 12+

Jennifer Strange is only 16, but she has a head on her shoulders. She'd better. Since the wizard she works for disappeared eight months ago, the former foundling is the de facto manager at Kazam – part talent agency, part retirement home, catering to a coterie of cracked sorcerers. Kazam has only one competitor in the Kingdom of Snodd (the area around Hereford in the Ununited Kingdoms), recently rebranded from Industrial Magic to iMagic and led by a sleaze named Blix who has just gotten himself appointed as the Royal Wizard. Blix is in cahoots with King Snodd and his chief advisor to turn magic, which powers all technology in their world, into a lucrative, government monopoly. Jennifer and the wizards at Kazam think magic should freely benefit everybody. So a challenge is thrown down: whichever house of wizards gets the farthest in rebuilding the collapsed bridge at the center of town will get to decide.

To make sure he wins, Blix pulls some dirty tricks. Between Kazam's wizards being jailed on trumped-up charges and a few of them getting turned to stone for their efforts to restore their home's magical battery to full use, Jennifer is pretty much down to one wizard – a youth who has only just passed his license exam – to put up against Blix's three-sorcerer team. She turns to everyone she can think of to help. The old crone who ran the home for foundlings where she grew up. The bitter ex-sorcerer who hasn't done a single spell since she was kidnapped in 1975. Even a daring, supersonic trip on a magic carpet to chase down a wizard's premonition of where her missing boss might momentarily appear – smack in the middle of a demilitarized zone patrolled by the kingdom's deadly enemy, the trolls. She must survive being scrobbled by the bad guys and imprisoned in a tower, face a contest of magic with the odds stacked against her – and mind you, she has no magical talent herself – and somehow save magic, and the kingdom, from a dastardly plot.

This is a fun book, set in a quirky world where utter weirdness is taken in stride. I haven't even figured out a way to describe the creature mentioned in its title, let alone the Transient Moose – a quasi-sentient simulacrum that somehow plays a pivotal role in this story. There's a bit of youthful romance in it. There's a stiff snort of sociopolitical satire in it – relating to the way upper classes, and especially royals, treat common people, and especially foundlings. There is a bizarre blend of fantasy world-building and modern technology in it, from Volkswagens to mobile phones (although the tech hasn't been working so well lately, due to magic being in decline). There are hilarious notions, such as light globes powered by sarcasm, and moments of breathtaking danger blended with whimsy, such as when a couple of troll sentries try to coax Jennifer out of hiding with "Here, person, person, person." There are fiendish plots, creepy curses, sweat-eliciting buildups of suspense and, running through it all, a nonstop flow of clever originality that can only be described as magical.

This is the sequel to The Last Dragonslayer, and I've been meaning to read it for something like 12 years. So remiss am I that I only lately discovered the series continues after it in The Eye of Zoltar and The Great Troll War. Jasper Fforde, whose name (I believe) is pronounced exactly like Ford, lives in Wales and is the author of many books I have read and some I have yet to get around to. I'm working on it. His titles include now eight "Thursday Next" novels (the most recent addition being Dark Reading Matter), the two "Nursery Crime" spinoffs, Shades of Grey and its recent sequel, Red Side Story, Early Riser and The Constant Rabbit. Three of these titles are already on my TBR pile.