Salivate, Ye Bachelors

It's two days to your birthday. Two birthdays short of the big Four-Oh. And what did you have for dinner last night? Leftover pizza, warmed up in the microwave and dipped in Papa John's buttery "Special Garlic Sauce." To be sure, PJ's pizza is better reheated than that of any other national pizza-delivery chain. Still, you hate leftover pizza. It's a wonder you ever order the stuff. By the end you were just ripping the edges off the crust, dipping them in the SGS (a hydrogenated vegetable oil product, so every taste of it means less birthdays for you), and throwing the rubbery remainders away. You don't want to reach 40, do you? Because if you did, you would have joined Mom for dinner last night. Here's what she has to say for herself:

I made good pork spareribs the other day. I don't put barbecue sauce on my ribs, I use a rub instead. I recommend Mrs. Dash garlic-and-herb seasoning blend.

Rub the ribs with the seasoning. Rough-chop garlic, onion and green pepper, and layer the pieces over the ribs. Cover and refrigerate over night.

Bake the ribs in a slow oven, 250-300 degrees for hours. The meat should fall off the bone. If you keep the meat covered for most of the cooking time, it will also steam it done.

You can put ordinary seasoning salt on the meat if you wish, as Mrs. Dash is salt-free. Use both together!

I had fresh green beans and macaroni salad with this meal. Putting garlic with the green beans would be redundant, so I used mushrooms instead.

MACARONI SALAD: Cook bowtie pasta until tender. Rinse the noodles in cold water. Chop up a little cucumber, onion, and tomato. For the dressing, mix Dorothy Lynch dressing and Hellman's mayonnaise. Add salt and pepper and you've got it!

Thanks a lot, Mom. Now I've got lick marks on my screen.