Bachelor Chow Fish Sandwich

When I see a customer buying an interesting product at the supermarket, I often make a point of asking her what she plans to do with it. That's how I got the idea for this recipe, which I tried today for lunch. The product I spotted and asked about, in this case, was canned mackerel.

STEP ONE: THE MUD
Scoop about 1/4 cup of seasoned bread crumbs or crushed crackers into a bowl. Beat in two fresh eggs, and let the resulting beige gunk sit for a few minutes, stirring as needed to keep it mixed.

STEP TWO: THE STRAW
Drain the brine off from a 15-oz. can of mackerel in brine. Using a fork to pull the fish apart, stir it into the egg mixture. (Option: Add a bit of shredded carrot, onion, celery, or whatever.)

STEP THREE: THE KILN
Heat a spoonful of olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat, to cook one patty at a time; or heat a couple spoonfuls on a large electric skillet, to cook them all at once.

STEP FOUR: THE BRICK
Form the mackerel mixture into four balls (+/-), then squash them down into a flat patty shape, being careful not to spread them so thin that they break apart. Fry each patty in the oil until well browned on both sides.

STEP FIVE: THE WALL
In the meantime, toast enough slices of bread to make the desired number of sandwiches. Spread them with your choice of salad dressing, ketchup, pickle, coleslaw, or tartar sauce. As patties are done cooking, build your sandwiches and enjoy!

This variant of the salmon patty, which I remember my stepmom making for many a family dinner when I was a teen, tastes similar and by no means inferior to the original salmon version. And I'm pretty sure it's cheaper, too. Plus, it is so easy, the children of Israel could have made it when they were in bondage to Egypt. Providing, of course, someone had invented the can opener by then.

IMAGE: Somebody else's mackerel patties. I don't take pictures of my food. I'm too busy eating it!