Two Paradoxes

I like paradoxes. They can be funny, touching, or just plain weird. Paradoxes abound in the very best religious hymns (I'm a big fan of hymns too). They pop up in poetry, novels, art, and music. They contribute to the effectiveness of the plots and dialogue in books, stage plays, and films. Sometimes, I think one or two up myself.

These aren't very good, but here goes.

Paradox #1: I don't have time to procrastinate right now. I'll do it later.

I like this because I am such a procrastinator, but sometimes I find myself stumbling over things I have left undone. They get so much in the way that I have to do them in order to move freely. If ever there was a person, or spirit, who always and unfailingly procrastinated, it wouldn't have lived long. The gravitation of all the things left undone would have crushed it.

Paradox #2: Bus drivers must not ride the bus to work, because they are required to be punctual.

This one struck me the other day, when I was passing a poky city bus in St. Louis. It had a rack on its front end with a bicycle on it. It might have been a passenger's bike, but I fancied that it belonged to the bus driver and was the driver's means of getting to work. From that idea my mind immediately leaped to Paradox #2. While not exactly a koan, it at least leads around in a circle and, perhaps, leaves one chuckling. I mean, from a layman's (non-bus-driver) perspective, one would think: if a bus driver were punctual, so would his bus be. Ha, ha.

All right. I'd better get back to work. I have some overdue procrastination to clear up.