Mutant Mayhem

The full title of the big movie, not last weekend but the one before, was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem. I've never been a big fan of the Turtles, but it looked like fun and, behold, it was. It has a scratchy, comic-book-arty look that appeals in a similar, visual way to the Spider-Verse movies. It's loaded with juvenile humor, urban attitude and bizarre, gross-out creatures. The action is almost non-stop, paced in a way that keeps the eyes moving almost to the limit of their ability to follow. Its reptilian heroes have teen appeal (though voiced by nobody I know). Other cast members include co-writer Seth Rogen, Ice Cube, John Cena, Rose Byrne, Jackie Chan, Paul Rudd, Giancarlo Esposito and Post Malone.

If you're not familiar with the concept of TMNT, you can probably guess a lot from the title of the franchise. It features, funnily enough, four teenage brothers who happen to be giant, anthropomorphic turtles, thanks to contact with a mysterious ooze in their infancy, and are now adept at martial arts thanks to their mutated rat "dad." They love pizza and long to go to high school and fit in with the human kids, but their dad hates humans and tries to confine them to the sewers. Stuff happens, the kids run a little wild, and the next thing you know, they're saving New York City from a crew of even weirder mutants whose leader, Super Fly, has decided to destroy mankind. Also, there's a little bit of a crush between the lead shellback, Leonardo (they're all named after Renaissance painters), and a human girl named April, who fancies herself a crusading journalist but has as much trouble fitting in among other teens as the Turtles.

Three Scenes That Made It For Me: (1) The turtle bros. experience their worst nightmare: being "milked" by evil human scientists! (2) Pretty much any scene in which the turtles banter boyishly with each other, talking right over each other. Their eye-roll-worthy lameness is not lost on April, but you've got to admit, the young cast interacts exactly like a bunch of adolescent brothers and it isn't hard to imagine the actors improvising the scene. (3) April's TV news reporting debut, during which she (naturally) pukes on camera, nevertheless succeeding in turning public opinion in favor of the heroic young turtles.

I'm not saying this movie is for everyone. In fact, if it was a little louder and more visually agitating, it probably would have ruined my evening the way the first Fast and Furious flick did all those years ago. It's not going to calm hyperactive kids down or anything. But it's funny, thrilling and, in its own dark, dank, sewer-centric way, a feast for the eyes.