Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Fundraising Idea

I've been giggling to myself, during the last few days, about a cute idea I'm working on, about how a community could raise funds for a local project that isn't in any one organization's budget. It's a karaoke-based pledge drive, and it goes like this:

Step 1. The organizers get a commitment from a number of local leaders to participate in a night of self-hazing karaoke craziness, and to sing specific numbers if, and only if, a given number of dollars is pledged for the purpose.

Step 2. A corps of pledge-gatherers visit residents and business owners in the community with a list of the participating leaders and the songs they will sing, if at least $X,000 is pledged, and ask them: (a) How much will you pledge for This Person to sing This Song, going down the list, and/or (b) What is the maximum total amount you will donate for the opportunity to hear all these people sing these songs.

Step 3. Publicize the event, making sure to secure a venue, a karaoke DJ, and maybe a chorus of backup singers to provide a little encouragement to the less vocally robust victims of the gag.

Step 4. Enjoy the night, and make sure all the pledged funds are collected accordingly, and are applied to whatever project it was all done for.

So, here's the part I've been giggling over: a list of musical selections to pair with (i.e., force upon, by benevolent blackmail) particular kinds of local leaders. It's coming together, in my mind, as sort of a game of musical forfeits:

  • Chairman of the school board: "We Don't Need No Education" by Pink Floyd
  • A local dentist: "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd
  • Publisher of the local newspaper: "Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley
  • Director of the health department: "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi
  • President or manager of a local bank: "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits, or "Money" by Pink Floyd
  • Mayor or member of the city council: "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship
  • Chief of the city police: "I Shot the Sheriff" by Eric Clapton
  • Sheriff or a high-ranking deputy: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper
  • Highway Patrol trooper: "I Can't Drive 55" by Sammy Hagar
  • County commissioner, assessor, or collector: "Taxman" by the Beatles
  • A local funeral director: "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen, or "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult
  • A local minister or pillar of the church: "Knocking on Heaven's Door" by Guns N' Roses, or "Jumping Jack Flash" by the Stones
  • Manager of the local grocery store: "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones
  • A licensed massage therapist: "Invisible Touch" by Genesis
  • A beautician: "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Aerosmith
  • A high school teacher or guidance counselor: "Baba O'Riley" by the Who (you know, that "teenage wasteland" song)
  • Motel manager or B&B owner: "Hotel California" by the Eagles
  • A pest control guy: "Killer Queen" by Queen
  • A gun shop or shooting course owner: "Janie Got a Gun" by Aerosmith
  • Director of the nursing home: "Who Are You" by the Who
  • Prosecuting attorney or local judge: "Tell Me Lies" by Fleetwood Mac
  • Psychiatrist or clinical social worker: "You May Be Right" by Billy Joel, or "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne
  • Restaurant Owner: "Eat the Rich" by Aerosmith
  • Fire chief: "I'm on Fire" by Bruce Springsteen, or "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix
  • Code enforcement officer: "Welcome to the Jungle" by GNR
  • Animal shelter director: "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent
  • Parks director or city maintenance supervisor: "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC, or "Paradise City" by GNR
  • Librarian or library director: "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles
  • A foreign-exchange student: "Born in the USA" by Springsteen
  • A well-known classical music buff (church organist? school choir director?): "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

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