Effervescent Stupidity

I had three thoughts when I pulled over at the small convenience store at the intersection of two rural highways. First, I needed to use the toilet before I wet my pants. Second, I needed to buy something to use the toilet (store policy). And third, I didn't want to eat anything in my new car that would make a mess. So I decided to get a small, 79-cent cup of Diet Pepsi from the soda fountain and drink it carefully -- with a lid and a straw.

At first, I wasn't particularly concerned when I saw that the convenience store only supplied styrofoam coffee cups on their drink bar. It came with a lid that had a hole for a straw, and that's all that mattered to me.

I very carefully settled the cup in the cupholder in my new car's center island. Then I released the handbrake. I noticed that my hand brushed against the straw as I did this. It wasn't until I picked up the cup to take a drink that I realized the straw had punctured the side of the cup.

Imagine the tongues I spoke in when I lifted the cup to my lips and felt a gush of ice-cold Diet Pepsi down the front of my shirt and pants. And, of course, my pristine upholstery and spotless cupholder came off little better. And believe it or not, I had to laugh. Because I knew at that moment that this sort of thing is ME ALL OVER!!