Sunday, December 19, 2021
LT. RHYS (tactical officer)
I say ...
LT. JOPP (new guy)
Let me anticipate you. No, I'm not half-Vulcan; I'm a quarter Vulcan on my mother's side. Yes, I'm half-Romulan; but before you ask, that's a quarter-Romulan on both sides. On my father's side, I'm also 1/8 human, 1/16 Bajoran, 1/32 this and 1/32 that, and yes, I do know what "this" and "that" are but people start to get bored by now, so we move on. Yes, I'm aware I talk a lot and that could mean there's a Cardassian behind the wood pile, but if there is, it's so far back that nobody remembers how they got there. Yes, this striking nose is evidence of how strong a 1/16 share of Bajoran genes is, but no, I've never felt an urge to put on ear jewelry. No, I don't practice Vulcan meditation, but also no, I'm not going to snap and kill you. Well, anything could happen, but I've never done it so far, so I wouldn't worry. No, I don't practice absolute candor, but I'm being candid right now; you'll have to take my word for it. No, I have no explanation for those things on top of my head; they don't do anything as far as I can tell. No, I've never felt like my personality was being torn apart because of my diverse heritage; I know who I am and I've never been tempted to be anybody else. And no, I can't explain why I was so fortunate to have such an awesome heritage, but I've never detected any signs that I'm destined for greatness, other than being probably the most advanced student of Beta Quadrant vegetation at this table. Any other questions?
Um ... would you pass the salt?