Bumper Sticker Whimsy

The other day, I spotted the following message on a bumper sticker, alongside another sticker whose sentiment is equally funny but considerably less printable...

'TIS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN TO BE STUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH A TOTAL PSYCHO

...This one goes out to my newly-single brother, with all my love.

From the grouchiness department, I was standing by one of those pedestrian crosswalks today when I had an epiphany. You know those gizmos that invite you to press a button to get a "Walk" signal so you can cross the street? My unscientific study suggests that pressing that button has no effect whatsoever on how soon you'll get your turn to cross.

I now realize that these buttons exist purely as an outlet for pedestrians' frustration. Also, maybe the ones that have a recessed button that you have to press with your finger (as opposed to the more sanitary elbow method) are a strategy to thin out the non-driving population by spreading the flu, e. coli, salmonella, leprosy, etc.

Have you ever stopped at a red light and had your picture taken at one of those "photo-enforced" intersections? Happens to me on a weekly basis. I always wonder why I never see that flash when someone runs the red light, only when we law-abiding citizens dutifully stop. Perhaps I should file this under my growing theory about traffic signals being tied into a study of how people cope with stress.

I reckon someone, somewhere, has a good laugh the next morning as they sort through the snaps of irritated drivers gnashing their teeth at the amount of time they have to wait for 1.5 cars to clear the cross-street before they can creep ahead to the next red light. The lights are timed so that they stay green for minutes at a time when no one is there to go through them, then turn red (for just as long) the moment traffic starts to arrive at the intersection. And from high above, a flash camera is preserving these priceless moments from our lives...