Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Unfinished Tackiness

This week's message from the Temple of Tackiness, Evangelical Synod of the Lighted Sign:


This strikes me as an unfinished thought. Thine what? Thine ass? What, are we censoring our tackiness now? Isn't the word "ass" in the Bible? Balaam had one that talked to him -- but mainly when it got kicked. Mary rode Joseph's all the way to Bethlehem. And Jesus picked up a little you-know-what en route to Jerusalem. There's nothing naughty about that. Tacky, maybe; but tackiness normally doesn't seem to be restrained by such prudish concerns.

Yes, I get it. "A stitch in time saves nine." At least that proverb makes sense. It means that if you start a project with care, you're less likely to have to undo or redo a lot of work at a later stage. It's apposite (not opposite) to "Work smarter, not harder."

So, what are we saying when we switch "stitch" to "prayer," and "nine" to "thine"? Are we saying that the earlier you register your opinion with the Divine Pollster, the better off you and yours will be? Are we guaranteeing that your loved ones will be saved if you pray for them? Are we attributing wonder-working power to prayer? Regardless of whether such assertions are supportable -- regardless of whether the will of God, His mercy, and His power should be brought into the discussion -- don't you think it would be helpful for a church to be clear about what it's saying?

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