Tackiness Heat Wave

As temperatures soar in St. Louis--and between the humidity and my perpetual allergies, each breath requires so much effort that I have begun to suffer from the waking equivalent of sleep apnea--I can't tell you how refreshed I wasn't by the following bit of hoopla from the neighborhood ELCA lettered church sign:

KEEP HYDRATED WITH THE WATER OF LIFE!

Even granting that someone might see that and take an interest in the theological significance of the phrase "water of life," the Evangelical Parish of Saint Shecky doesn't quite make the short list of fountains of knowledge that one seeking enlightenment might dip into. And if you think that joke is going to lift many chuckles out of the stressed-out passersby, who like me are all but smothering in this moist heat, you really need to go back to clown school.

In short, people, you're all wet!