Friday, August 21, 2009

Weird Dreams

I've just awakened from a really weird nightmare. In it I was the star of a one-man freak show. I had the power to die in any way you choose and to come back to life, completely healed. So the entire show featured me being murdered in a wide variety of ways, one after another.

I don't think it was my idea. In fact, I think I was being exploited against my will. The deaths were painful and gruesome. Yet the audience seemed excited and even amused by them.

I particularly remember one instance where I struggled for my life. I fought to hold a door shut between my attacker and me, but he forced the door open far enough to shoot me. The bullet went through my hand and then into my side. I could feel the pain in my hand before I realized that my torso was wounded. Then I said, "Oh, I've been killed."

In another scenario I was strangled by a huge, vile brute who kept calling me Laura. This particular exhibition seemed to be for the benefit of one spectator, who sat right beside my head watching the hideous faces I made.

The idea of having to live through being killed like that, again and again - to die and come back and die again - is truly chilling.

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