Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Mixing Without a License

If I had a license to mix drinks, it would probably be revoked after what I just did. Not that I would be likely to get one in the first place, especially once it comes out that I like to mix slivovitz with eggnog (which could also probably get me defrocked for syncretism). But tonight's experiment was really weird, and that's saying a lot, coming from somebody who once ate a sauerkraut-and-jelly sandwich.

Besides slivovitz, I currently have two spirits in my house right now. Well, three, if you count that bottle of wine I am saving for a special occasion. The other two are Kahlua and J├Ągermeister. In case you don't know, one is a coffee-flavored liqueur - which is to say, not fermented coffee but something more like vodka infused with coffee beans. When you open the bottle, a certain piquant aroma drifts out, redolent of rancid coffee grounds liquefying on a mound of moldy coffee filters. The only way to recover from it is to take a stiff shot of the stuff, preferably mixed with milk or cocoa or something much stronger. Quite a pick-me-up. The other, with a stag's head on the bottle, involves an infusion of aniseseed and some other herbs.

So I thought...gee, what would it be like to pour a shot of one into a shot of the other? Mmm. It was a yummy thought: coffee with a touch of licorice...

Well, the theory was one thing. The reality was something else. I was surprised to find that when you put the two flavors together, and once you get over the spicy tingle on the edge of the J├Ągermeister's flavor, the combination tastes exactly like...beets.

It was the worst mixed drink I have tasted since my 21st birthday, when I went to a town-gown pub that comped all 21st-birthday-boys their choice of a Kamikaze or another drink I am too polite to mention by name. The Kamikaze turned out to be more or less a shot of raspberry schnapps, which tastes exactly like the cough syrup that used to make me gag when I was a little boy. Whoever invented the Kamikaze ALMOST deserves to be forcefed my latest creation. Which, when it starts turning up at town-gown bars, served free to kids the day they come of legal age to order alcohol, will probably be known as the Seppuku.

1 comment:

Marie N. said...

Ahhhh, fresh beets, exactly the flavor I'm looking forward to relaxing with of an evening. That is too funny.

A glass of lemonade or iced tea with a splash of rum or vodka in it does better.