The Sasquatch Escape

The Sasquatch Escape
by Suzanne Selfors
Recommended Ages: 10+

I got things out of order by reading books 3 and 4 of this series first, but this is book 1 so I guess I'm starting to work that out. I've already met them, but if you do it right, this is where you'll get to know Ben Silverstein – a boy from Los Angeles with a habit of making up stories and boy, some of them are whoppers! He's come to Buttonville for the summer to stay with his grandpa because his parents are having some marital issues. There isn't much to do in a town where most families moved away when the button factory closed. But on his first day there, he and a girl named Pearl Petal, who lives above the Dollar Store, witness what looks like a dragon flying overhad. Nah, couldn't be ... could it?

Then grandpa's evil cat brings home something strange. A tiny, injured creature with wings like a bat, but instead of fur it has scales. And a long, nobbly tail. And it breathes fire. The little thing needs medical attention, stat. But where can Ben and Pearl turn, other than the strange veterinarian, supposedly specializing in worms, who has taken up residence in the abandoned button factory? Maybe, they think, she knows something about baby dragons as well as worms. After all, there's a big dragon living on her roof.

Perhaps disappointingly, they don't get to follow through on what happens to the baby dragon, or rather wyvern, after they entrust it to Dr. Woo and her bizarre assistant, Mr. Tabby. But that isn't to say they don't have an adventure. In fact, they're practically forced into it, when Ben mistakenly leaves the front door unlocked and lets a sasquatch escape. Now the streets of Buttonville are haunted by a strange raccoon that sorts garbage by color, and the nearsighted residents of the old folks' home are visited by a nice doggy who takes an interest in Pudding Day. To hustle the sasquatch out of the old folks' home and back to Dr. Woo's Worm Hospital will call for tons of skill, mainly of the improvisational variety, as Pearl and Ben find creative ways to escape detection by the town's nosiest busybody and her nasty, tale-bearing daughter.

The magic of creatures from the world of imagination has never been funnier and more down to earth than in this book and the series that follows it. Honestly, I laughed the hardest at some of the nonsense that comes out of Ben and Pearl's mouths, like (in this book) a line about taking worms for walks and giving them baths, and (in one of the sequels) their advice to listen for pet worms coughing. Everybody is relatably flawed, and some characters are just bonkers. Like Mr. Tabby, for instance, who has a tail. I'm on board to read all six books in this series, out of order but so what? Next up is The Lonely Lake Monster.

Dude, Where's My Spaceship?

Dude, Where's My Spaceship?
by Dan Greenburg
Recommended Ages: 8+

In this thin, goofy and charmingly illustrated book, we meet alien siblings Klatu, Lek and Ploo, joyriding around the galaxy in their little spaceship just after Klatu (the eldest) earned his flying license. Unfortunately, Klatu is a varna, which is alien for a klutz, and they end up crashed in the Nevada desert, not far from Area 51. Worse, Ploo gets caught by some army guys, and even using her ESP abilities she's unable to persuade them to let her go. So Klatu and Lek must follow, chewing English language gum and transforming their big-eyed, big-headed, gray alien bodies into the look of children from a bygone era (because their school books on Earth are out of date). And despite not knowing that the cardboard box isn't an edible part of the pizza, they rely on a purloined pizza delivery as their ruse to get into the top secret government installation.

Ploo, meanwhile, has befriended a nice little girl whose father, Major Paine, is determined to save Earth from the alien threat. Ploo's escape depends on the bumbling boys and her own social skills, but that's only the start of their adventure because now, they have to find a mechanic – an earthling mind you – who can fix their banged-up flying saucer. Good luck!

This book, whose title is inspired by the 2000 comedy film Dude, Where's My Car? (and I'm sighing to think I have to explain this), is the first of six installments in the Weird Planet series, which continues in Lost in Las Vegas, Chilling with the Great Ones, Attack of the Evil Elvises, Lights Camera ... Liftoff! and Thrills, Spills, and Cosmic Chills. The edition I read was illustrated by Macky Pemintuan. Dan Greenburg, an author I'd never heard of before I laid eyes on this book, is a surprisingly prolific fellow, credited with the Max Segal trilogy (Love Kills etc.), 30 "Zack Files" books (A Ghost Named Wanda among them), eight "Maximum Boys" books (How I Became a Superhero etc.), eight "Secrets of Dripping Fang" books (including Please Don't Eat the Children), and about a dozen other novels including Green Eggs and Dinosaurs. He doesn't seem to have put out any new books since about the mid-2010s, but he has a big catalog going back to about 1968, so if Ploo and her brothers amuse you, you'll have your used book shopping cut out for you.

Cry Wolf!

Cry Wolf!
by Sienna Mercer
Recommended Ages: 12+

Justin Packer has a secret kept so well, even his identical twin brother, Daniel, doesn't know about it. As a naturally athletic kid with a human mom and a werewolf dad, he's expected to wolf out on the first moon on or after his 13th birthday. He's looking forward to it, really. After all, the next day he's starting school at Pine Wood Junior High, and the football tryouts are right after school, and all the other boys on the offensive line are werewolves, too. It's part of what makes them hard to beat. Only ... when the moon rises that night, it isn't Justin who turns. And Daniel has no idea what's happening to him.

It's hard enough to be going through puberty, but "hair growth in unexpected places" isn't the half of it. Though one brother is into football and the other is trying to start a rock band, they have this much in common: when the girl they like is looking at them, they get tongue-tied. Only, in Daniel's case, his teeth and fingernails start to grow, his hands get hairy, and sometimes an uncontrollable howl escapes from his throat. He feels like a freak. Maybe you can relate.

The imagination that brought you "My Sister the Vampire" is at work again. In fact, there's even a character who moved from the town where all that middle school weirdness went down. And there's another gang of boys called the Beasts, only instead of lame-brained teenage Vampires, they're lupine (that means wolfen) jocks who hit hard on the field, munch extremely rare burgers and hear a lot of "Get a grip, cub" from their coach. So, while Daniel worries about whether his band's lead singer will figure out his secret, Justin just has to survive practices where his own teammates are scarier than the other side.

It's a cute, teen romance slash coping-with-the-changes-of-adolescence melodrama, with a strong dash of laughter and a goofy take on the paranormal. You'll probably roll your eyes a bit at the twins' cluelessness when it comes to talking to the opposite sex, but then reflect, how much better at it were you at their age? And as so often happens, you'll also wonder why everbody doesn't just tell the truth (for example, Justin to his teammates, Daniel to his bandmates, to say nothing of "louping" Daniel in on the family secret) but, I guess, things like being a werewolf probably are the sort of thing you'd keep under as tight a lid as possible.

It's book 1 of a quartet, which continues in Puppy Love!, Howl-oween! and Tail Spin. Don't forget to check out Sienna Mercer's sister/vampire series, which runs for 18 books and includes such titles as Stake Out! and Spooktacular!. And watch where you sling that garlic, or that silver necklace, or whatever. Some people might be allergic!

The Order of the Unicorn

The Order of the Unicorn
by Suzanne Selfors
Recommended Ages: 10+

In this fourth installment of "The Imaginary Veterinary," Buttonville's girl troublemaker Pearl Petal and her summer-visitor bestie, Ben Silverman, get a second chance, as mere apprentices to magical creatures vet Dr. Woo, to travel to the Imaginary World. This time, it's to rescue a missing unicorn colt, who has somehow strayed into the forbidden Dark Forest, which in the first place, is dark (like, duh), and in the second place, is populated by predatory plants. So, it's a bad place. And only Pearl can go in there, because unicorns trust little girls if they're pure in heart. She just has to work on the pure in heart part, what with her nemesis – Little Miss Perfect, Victoria Mullbery – being awarded a membership in the town's prestigious Red Wagon Club. Oooh, does that burn!

I almost forgot the mention "in the third place," which is that the enemy of all imaginary creatures, a certain Maximus Steele, is trying to catch a unicorn for his own nefarious purposes. We learn a bit more about him in this book, and actually see him about his nasty work. Even in a town as sleepy as Buttonville, there's more to being an apprentice with an imaginary veterinary than trimming Sasquatch nose hairs and playing fetch with a juvenile dragon.

While I wouldn't exactly call this a gripping thriller, it is a fun story with gentle characters upholding gentle values – like Dr. Woo's pronouncement that all creatures deserve medical care, even monsters that eat children. Who's to judge? (I forgot to mention the children-eating monster. But I wouldn't want to spoil every surprise, would I?) Ben and Pearl's friendship, the funny quirks of their personalities, the little bit of sadness about them that goes to your heart – like the fact that, apparently, Ben is staying with his grandpa because his parents are getting a divorce – make them real in your heart; real enough to believe in the fantastic things they experience.

There are more fantastic experiences to follow, with six books in this series including (next in line) The Griffin's Riddle, and many other books by Suzanne Selfors, such as Next Top Villain, Science and Sorcery, Coffeehouse Angel and Mad Love.

The Rain Dragon Rescue

The Rain Dragon Rescue
by Suzanne Selfors
Recommended Ages: 10+

Someone or something is stealing metallic items from the residents of Buttonville. Ben, a boy known more for making up stories than for bravery who's visiting his grandpa in the small town, knows it's a something and, more importantly, what it is: a dragon. But he can't tell, because he's been sworn to keep his lips zipped about the imaginary creatures that Dr. Emerald Woo treats at her so-called worm hospital in the abandoned button factory at the edge of town. She's a veterinarian who specializes in treating creatures from the Imaginary World, and Ben is one of her two apprentices – together with a trouble-prone girl named Pearl.

And now Ben and Pearl know there's a dragon living on the roof of the Imaginary Veterinary. They meet him. They make friends with him. He's only terrifying if you don't know him. But that same day, they have to treat a much bigger dragon who lives in the Imaginary World, and who won't be living much longer if they don't get to her soon. They don't have time to wait for Dr. Woo or a more qualified member of her staff. They have to break some rules, stretch their wings, and travel for the first time to the Imaginary World, not knowing what they will find when they arrive.

Well, it isn't what you'd expect either. So the adventure is as much yours as theirs as they encounter a creature almost unimaginably immense, and the damage caused by an evil so monstrous that it can only be human. I have a feeling this Maximus Steele they learn about on this adventure will become something of a nemesis in the books to follow. But let this synopsis so far succice to tease your curiosity about a magical adventure sprinkled with chills, laughs and breathtaking wonder. I also recommend the extras in the back of the book, including the background of the legendary creatures features in this book, some prompts for readers to use their own imagination and think up stories of their own, a science project and a creativity challenge (kind of an art project). Clearly, author Selfors is on a mission to encourage kids to stretch their imagination.

This is book 3 of "The Imaginary Veterinary," whose other titles include The Sasquatch Escape, The Lonely Lake Monster, The Order of the Unicorn, The Griffin's Riddle and The Fairy Swarm. I don't usually like to start reading a series in the middle, but I had to becuase books 3 and 4 were the only ones my local bookstore had; but I've ordered the rest, so that's all right. Selfors is also the author of the "Smells Like..." trilogy, 10 "Ever After High" books, three "Wedgie & Gizmo" books, the "Willow's Wood" books Sam Squirrel and Rosey Stink Badger, two "Spirit Riding Free" books, and 8-10 other novels, including To Catch a Mermaid, Fortune's Magic Farm, The Sweetest Spell and Wish upon a Sleepover. Her latest book is called Ratty and I'm told it's about a boy cursed to look like a rodent. So perhaps that gives you an idea of the kind of imagination she's working with. I'm interested in seeing more.

Vampalicious!

Vampalicious!
by Sienna Mercer
Recommended Ages: 11+

In this fourth installment in the 18-book "My Sister the Vampire" series, separated-as-infants twins Ivy and Olivia – a vampire and a cheerleader, respectively – have just learned that their biological father is actually Ivy's supposedly adoptive dad, and that somehow they are the offspring of a forbidden vampire-human love story. But immediately, they're faced with a new problem. Charles, their father, has decided to move to, like, Luxembourg with Ivy, separating the girls as swiftly as they found each other. They can't let this happen. But how can they stop it?

Well, that's what this book is about. Of course, hilarity ensues. Like when the girls set Charles up on a blind date with a completely incompatible woman. But this story also runs a little deeper than the previous installments, as you might guess from its slightly thicker page count. Olivia wants to know why her vampire father rejected his human daughter. Didn't he love her? Does he blame her for her mother's death? Desperate to spend time with him, she swaps places with Ivy (again), leading to more hijinks but also introducing her (and us) to some of vampire society's Christmas traditions, like decorating the tree with Christmas Bites (kind of like Hershey's Kisses, but filled with blood) and whispering your wishes to the Christmas Bat.

So, it's family drama and middle school adventure blended with a little ghoulish magic, some attempted romance and a lot of light-hearted fun. I'm already headed into the fifth book in the series, Take Two, and I've made an investment in Sienna Mercer's other series, the "My Brother the Werewolf" quartet.

Reagan

I thought I had missed my chance to see this movie in a theater. Last weekend, when I chose Beetlejuice Beetlejuice over it, turned out to be the end of its run in my town and the nearest other town with a movie theater. But last night, as I came home from work, I followed a whim to look at the showtimes for the bigger town a bit farther away, and lo, Reagan was still playing there. In fact, I think today is its last day.

The movie stars Dennis Quaid as 40th U.S. President Ronald Reagan – who, on a personal note, was the first president elected after I started being interested in presidential history and current events, when I was in second grade. Quaid plays a progressively aged Ronnie, a.k.a. Dutch (only once in the movie does someone call him "the Gipper," and he gets a weird look from others in the scene), looking and sometimes sounding like a victim of facial paralysis thanks, I hope, to an excess of makeup, despite which he only faintly resembles the late president. Nevertheless, he does a good job bringing to life the tenderness between Ronnie and Nancy, played by Penelope Ann Miller. His portrayal, in scenes from later in Reagan's life, also hints poignantly at his progressive loss of mental sharpness, making his last horseback ride an emotionally touching place to end the movie (not counting closing credits photos and video clips from the real Reagan's life and funeral). Quaid also nails the firm character, eloquent oratory and communism-fighting commitment of the president who told Mikhail Gorbachev to "tear down this wall" (in Berlin) and called the Soviet Union an "evil empire."

The movie moves through a lot of material at a brisk pace. It selects, compresses and tightly arranges the events and themes of Reagan's life and career around a unified purpose – to present Reagan as the American leader who took down the Soviet Union. Using a framing narrative technique, it dramatizes this – unexpectedly? ironically? – as an elderly Soviet spy's memoir of the tragedy of the USSR's downfall, told with mingled regret and admiration to a younger spy. Scenes from early in Reagan's life lend an element of destiny, or perhaps of divine mission, to Reagan's career. If you missed the fact, revealed in the opening titles, that the movie is adapted from a book called The Crusader, you won't fail to notice that Reagan's characterization as a crusader is an important theme throughout the film.

The movie has superb production values. It balances things, a bit, by incorporating almost the entire music video to Genesis' "Land of Confusion," acknowledging Reagan's villainous reputation in popular culture. But overall it presents the sometime actor turned politician as a man who showed bold leadership, courage and firmness of mind during a very dangerous time in our world's recent history, and through his rapport with Gorbachev, reduced the danger of worldwide nuclear annihilation.

The cast is big and big-time. Kevin Sorbo plays Reagan's boyhood pastor. Dan Lauria (The Wonder Years) is House Speaker Tip O'Neill. Kevin Dillon (Entourage) appears as studio head Jack Warner. Mena Suvari (American Beauty, American Pie) plays Reagan's first wife, Jane Wyman. Jon Voight plays the older Russian spy who more or less narrates the movie, sharing scenes with Alex Sparrow, a.k.a. Alexey Vorobyov, a sometime Eurovision singer known for appearances in Unreal and Space Force. Lesley-Anne Down (North and South) plays Margaret Thatcher. Robert Davi, whom I remember as the older and uglier FBI Agent Johnson in Die Hard, plays Brezhnev. Elya Baskin, a character actor you'd immediately recognize if you saw him, plays a Russian defector whose presentation at Reagan's boyhood church alters the course of his life. You see Nick Searcy (Justified), C. Thomas Howell (Soul Man), Trevor Donovan (every fifth Hallmark movie), Xander Berkeley (24), Amanda Righetti (The Mentalist), Justin Chatwin (Tom Cruise's son in War of the Worlds) and Mark Moses (Mad Men) as various Reagan staffers and family members, Olek Krupa (Behind Enemy Lines) as Gorby, David Henrie (Wizards of Waverly Place) as a teenaged Reagan, Scott Stapp of Creed as Frank Sinatra, and if that last name-bomb doesn't blow your mind, there's a scene in which Pat Boone is present when a minister prophesies that Reagan will become president, and Pat Boone plays the minister while Blaine, Minnesota, city council member Chris Massoglia, who played the title character in The Vampire's Assistant, plays Boone.

It's a very entertaining, moving, thoughtfully structured and visually striking film. I doubt it'll win any Oscars because, you know, politics. But the Screen Actors Guild ought to give some love to a movie that depicts Reagan's role in keeping the actors' union independent. Other than that, the Three Scenes That Made It For Me are: (1) Reagan, rushed into surgery after being shot, wakes up long enough to say to the attending medics, "Please tell me you're all Republicans." This got the biggest laugh in the theater I saw it in. (2) Reagan cuts through the diplomatic wrangling at his first summit with Gorbachev by suggesting that the two leaders take a walk in the fresh air. (3) Reagan refuses to snap the nuclear football when the Soviets come within seconds of triggering global nuclear war over a flight of geese. There's a moment where he imagines the bombs coming down on a U.S. city and for a moment you want to touch yourself to confirm that you still exist and that this version of reality didn't happen.

I could mention a couple things I missed from this movie, but I won't because honestly, it's long enough – 2 hours, 21 minutes – and it owes the fact that I'm not complaining about its length to the narrowness of its focus, the clarity of its purpose, the tightness of its argument and the brisk pace I've mentioned. When it feels like it's racing ahead of you, your butt doesn't notice that it's bonding, possibly inextricably, with the seat under you. Add the fact that I ended the movie with tears on my cheeks and it's clear that I like this movie, and will recommended it anytime it's mentioned in my presence.